Some of you may be interested or even fascinated by the discipline of mantra, but feel somewhat overwhelmed by the array of mantras and disciplines, astotaras and pujas you find in these pages. If so, then this chapter will be of use to you. The next few pages contain some simple mantras and their common application. They have been compiled from other chapters throughout the rest of this book, drawn from the various headings of the deities or principles involved. These mantras address various life issues which we all face from time to time. If you want more information or more mantras relating to the deities or principles involved, consult the appropriate chapter.
Ganesha: Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha
Rough Translation: 'Om and salutations to the remover of obstacles for which Gum is the seed.'
The story of Ganesha is found in the chapter devoted to this principle. But for your immediate need, you need only know that for seen or unseen obstacles which seem to be standing in the way of your progress or achievement, either specifically or generally, this mantra has proved invaluable. It has been used it with great success not only in India, but here in the West dozens of people have related to me their success in turning things around in their life by using this mantra.
Lakshmi: Om Shrim Mahalakshmiyei Swaha
Rough Translation: 'Om and salutations to that feminine energy which bestows all manner of wealth, and for which Shrim is the seed'
This mantra has not only been used for the purpose of attracting prosperity, but also for drawing in proper friends, clearing up family misunderstandings and quarrels, and smoothing some health problems. As we all know, there are many different kinds of wealth. As you use this mantra, focus on the kind of wealth you wish to manifest in your life.
Durga: Om Dum Durgayei Namaha
Rough Translation: 'Om and Salutations to that feminine energy which protects from all manner of negative influences, and for which Dum is the seed.'
Durga is the Divine Protectress. Typically shown riding a lion or a tiger, Durga has a hundred arms, each with a different weapon of destruction. Yet her face is exquisitely beautiful to behold. The interpretation is that to the pious and the sincere seeker after truth, her sight can produce ecstacy and a variety of beautiful forms. But the negative, harmful or demonic, her countenance is as terrible as Kali, except she shows more weapons of destruction than Kali (who is described later).
Saraswati: Om Eim Saraswatyei Swaha
Rough Translation: 'Om and salutations to that feminine energy which informs all artistic and scholastic endeavor, and for which Eim (pronounced I'm) is the seed.'
Saraswati holds a musical instrument, the vina, in one hand and a rosary in another hand. She spans the world of mundane knowledge and spiritual understanding. Those pursuing any artistic or educational endeavor whatsoever will gain greatly from the practice of this mantra.
Shiva: Om Namah Shivaya
This mantra has no approximate translation. The sounds related directly to the principles which govern each of the first six chakras on the spine...Earth, water, fire, air, ether. Notice that this does not refer to the chakras themselves which have a different set of seed sounds, but rather the principles which govern those chakras in their place. A very rough, non-literal translation could be something like, 'Om and salutations to that which I am capable of becoming.' This mantra will start one out on the path of subtle development of spiritual attainments. It is the beginning on the path of Siddha Yoga, or the Yoga of Perfection of the Divine Vehicle.
Rama: Om Sri Rama Jaya Rama, Jaya, Jaya Rama
Rough Translation: 'Om and Victory to Rama (the self within), victory, victory to Rama.'
Rama was an Avatar who came several thousand years ago. His sole purpose was to show how a person should live a Divine Life while living in a human body. A short story about the esoteric meaning of his life is found in the chapter devoted to him. You will recall from the previous chapter that Mahatma Gandhi practiced this mantra for over 60 years. This mantra will 'take one across' the ocean of rebirth. In a more immediate way, it is most powerful in reducing negative karmic effects no matter in which life they might have occurred. I have also had a powerful spiritual healing experience (for another person), while using this mantra intensely.
The Planet Saturn: Om Sri Shanaishwaraya Swaha
Rough translation: 'Om and salutations to the presiding spirit in the planet Saturn.'
Saturn is the planet of lessons. It is closely related to the karma we may encounter in a given lifetime. It also stands as a gatekeeper to some of the higher vibrations to which we aspire though spiritual development. By offering salutations outwardly, one clears certain internal obstructing energy patterns. But Saturn has received an overly negative reputation from some astrologers. There have been circumstances where very positive things manifested in people's lives unexpectedly, apparently as a direct result of working with this mantra.
Internally, Saturn energy is predominant in the spleen, knees and skeletal system. However, as Saturn moves through the various astrological signs, it 'triggers' karma we may have stored under astrological configurations found in that sign. Therefore, the use of the Saturn mantra can mitigate and even clear certain categories of karma which appear in our lives. This mantra has been used with great success personally. And I have received reports of its efficacy from many other people.
Subramanya: Om Sharavana-bhavaya Namaha
Rough translation, 'Om and salutations to the son of Shiva, who brings auspiciousness and who is chief of the celestial army.'
The positive effects of this mantra may not be so clearly seen or described as some of the others: a seeming increase in good fortune or luck; the ability to make the best of a set of circumstances which may occur; an increase in positive mental or emotional disposition; an easier route to becoming physically fit. Yet these few phrases do not begin to exhaust the benefits of using this mantra. It seems to brighten or optimize nearly everything in life.
Rama (Healing Mantra):
Om Apadamapa Hartaram Dataram Sarva Sampadam
Loka Bhi Ramam Sri Rama Bhuyo Bhuyo Namamyaham
This is a long mantra to put in a chapter for those just starting off, but is placed here because it is the most powerful healing mantra I have ever encountered. The very rough translation is, 'Om, Oh most compassionate Rama please send your healing energy right here to the earth, to the earth (twice for emphasis.)'
I have seen this mantra completely cure one person from a schizophrenic break who was in a locked ward. The psychiatrist said he would never lead a life on the outside again. In the middle of a 40 day sadhana done in his behalf, he was living in a 'halfway house' for those on the road to recovery. After 40 days of a spiritual discipline done on his behalf, he was on his own. He has since graduated from Art School which he attended on scholarship, and is working as an artist.
Another individual who was on medication, took off spurning his pills and disappeared for a time. After a 40 day sadhana done on his behalf, he had stabilized his life and was back on his medication without complaint.
A woman I know was in constant pain for four years. She undertook this discipline and after just a few weeks was in less pain than at any time she could remember over the past several years. She is still doing the mantra and expects to be pain-free relatively soon.
Although the mantra is long, it is simple to say phonetically. If you can, say it 108 times in a sitting. If you are just starting out, this may initially take up to one hour. After you are comfortable with the mantra, it will only take you 30 minutes.
Bodhisattwa Avalokiteshwara (Called Chenresig in Tibetan Buddhism):
Om Mani Padme Hum
Rough Translation: 'Om, salutations to The Jewel of Consciousness (the mind) which has reached the heart's lotus.'
This mantra is practiced more than any other in the world. It is pre-eminent in producing a state of dynamic compassion in the sayer. Dynamic means that this compassion contains as part of it the ability to powerfully manifest in both subtle and obvious ways. One of the simple yet profound teachings which accompanies this mantra is the concept that when the mind and heart become united, anything is possible. The implications of this simple thought are staggering. If you want to change the world for the better, this mantra should be in your spiritual toolbox. For more on this mantra, see the chapter on the Wesak Festival.
A dedicated group of followers of Kuan Yin use this mantra to invoke her as an emanation of Avaloketeshwara, while others use the mantra Namo Kuan Shi Yin Pu Sa.
Getting Started
Start by picking some aspect of your life you wish to improve or some vexing problem you would like to solve or dissolve. Then pick a mantra which seems, to you, to apply. Offer a prayer to God, in whatever way you relate to God. Ask for God's blessing in accomplishing your objective in doing this spiritual discipline.
Once you have decided to undertake the discipline and offered your prayers, then pick a place where you will say your mantra for a certain number of times each day. If possible, obtain a rosary of some kind and do your mantras in some multiple of 108. If getting a rosary is not possible, then decide on a certain amount of time you will spend each day saying your mantra. It can be five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes or even an hour. For your first experience, any time up to twenty minutes is advisable.
The reason for taking things easy for the first 40 day commitment is due to the cumulative action of the mantra. For the first few days, all will probably go smoothly. Then as you progress, you may find that things start to get in the way of your doing the discipline: You oversleep; there is some minor emergency; you get a cold, whatever. This means that you are beginning to effect the inner 'something' for which you undertook the mantra. You are beginning to encounter inner resistance. That inner resistance manifests as outer obstacles to your discipline. It has almost become a joke in many spiritual circles in which the practice of mantra is common, that something of a very surprising nature happened on day 33 or 35 of a 40 day sadhana. It has happened to me and many others with whom I have spoken on innumerable occasions over the last 22 years.
Develop a sense of humor about it, and be thankful. There is no better indication that your efforts are working than to have small upheavals in your life while you are in the midst of a 40 day mantra discipline. Ask anyone who has undertaken one and they will have some interesting stories for you.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK MANTRA TOTEM.
Hi friends, I'm not superstitious but these mantras help in ur life.
THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK MANTRA TOTEM.
You may not believe in this but the advice is great! Read all the way down, you might discover something new!!!
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.
THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK MANTRA TOTEM.
You may not believe in this but the advice is great! Read all the way down, you might discover something new!!!
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.
Friday, October 15, 2010
7 out of 10 People Marry Someone They're "Socially Connected" To
Lovelies:
A few weeks ago, while reading a New York Times article about evolution+dating, I came to a passage that I found particularly interesting. It said that a great way for a person to increase his or her odds of meeting a mate was simply by making more of an effort to tap into his or her social networks.
The NYT story went on to say that:
... a landmark 1992 Chicago sex survey of 3,432 adults ages 18 to 59, ... found that 68 percent of married people in the survey reported meeting their spouse through a friend, family member or other mutual acquaintance.
The story also mentions a new book, Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives, that is coming out next month. Co-written by Dr. Nicholas A. Christakis of Harvard Medical School and James H. Fowler, a political scientist at UC-San Diego, the author cite the Chicago study when arguing that dating is not a random process. They also help to illustrate the staggering number of people we are connected to, through three degrees of separation:
If you are single and you know 20 people reasonably well, and if each of them knows 20 other people, and each of them knows 20 other people, then you are connected to 8,000 people who are three degrees away. And one of them is likely to be your future spouse.
Wow!
The Chicago study would suggest that most of us don't have to waste our time online dating--or even flirting! Rather, we should get busy asking our friends to set us up; going to parties that people we know invite us to; and perusing our friends' Facebook friends to see if we can find people we're interested in.
At the same time, I wonder how things have changed since the Chicago study was done, almost twenty years ago. Since the dawn of Internet dating, do more people now marry complete strangers? And how do marriages of people who are socially connected beforehand compare to the marriages of people who were initially complete strangers, in terms of things like self-reported happiness and duration of marriage?
Anyway, once Christakis's book comes out, I'm hopeful he'll do an interview with me for the blog, so we can have all these questions answered then.
xxx
A few weeks ago, while reading a New York Times article about evolution+dating, I came to a passage that I found particularly interesting. It said that a great way for a person to increase his or her odds of meeting a mate was simply by making more of an effort to tap into his or her social networks.
The NYT story went on to say that:
... a landmark 1992 Chicago sex survey of 3,432 adults ages 18 to 59, ... found that 68 percent of married people in the survey reported meeting their spouse through a friend, family member or other mutual acquaintance.
The story also mentions a new book, Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives, that is coming out next month. Co-written by Dr. Nicholas A. Christakis of Harvard Medical School and James H. Fowler, a political scientist at UC-San Diego, the author cite the Chicago study when arguing that dating is not a random process. They also help to illustrate the staggering number of people we are connected to, through three degrees of separation:
If you are single and you know 20 people reasonably well, and if each of them knows 20 other people, and each of them knows 20 other people, then you are connected to 8,000 people who are three degrees away. And one of them is likely to be your future spouse.
Wow!
The Chicago study would suggest that most of us don't have to waste our time online dating--or even flirting! Rather, we should get busy asking our friends to set us up; going to parties that people we know invite us to; and perusing our friends' Facebook friends to see if we can find people we're interested in.
At the same time, I wonder how things have changed since the Chicago study was done, almost twenty years ago. Since the dawn of Internet dating, do more people now marry complete strangers? And how do marriages of people who are socially connected beforehand compare to the marriages of people who were initially complete strangers, in terms of things like self-reported happiness and duration of marriage?
Anyway, once Christakis's book comes out, I'm hopeful he'll do an interview with me for the blog, so we can have all these questions answered then.
xxx
3 Ways to Use Your Body to Flirt
#1: HOW TO "MIRROR" SOMEONE YOU'RE HAVING A FUN FLIRTATION WITH
ME: In you book, you say a person mirror his or her date’s movement if he/she likes her/him. Can you tell us how to "mirror"?
JUDY: Mirroring your date’s movements—a practice known as the chameleon effect—conveys that you two are on the same wavelength, which can enhance your rapport. So if your date crosses his legs, cross yours. If he takes a swig of his drink, sip yours. Or, just ask your date to dance. Dancing forces you to mirror each other’s movements, which is why it’s such a surefire romantic mood-setter.
#2: THE GESTURE THAT WILL MAKE SOMEONE WANT TO CUDDLE WITH YOU
ME: Wow! Cool! Who knew there was a science to the dancing thing!
You also say, in your book, that “aw, shucks” gestures—like shrugging or turning up your palm—are good in a flirty situation. Why's that?
JUDY: One goal of flirting is to advertise your friendly intentions. An upturned palm is a way to say “I have nothing to hide.” (In ancient times it probably meant “I’m not holding a rock to throw at you.”) Shrugging your shoulders, a gesture known among biologists as the “cute response,” crops up unconsciously when we see babies or puppies. It essentially says, “You’re cute! Let’s cuddle!” And that works wonders in a dating scenario as well.
#3: GETTING INTO SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE--IN A GOOD WAY
ME: You write that it’s a good idea to get into someone’s personal space a little. Why's that? And how should you do it? When should you get OUT of their personal space?
JUDY: The bubble of air eighteen inches around someone’s body is their “intimate space”—a no-go zone when you first meet someone. To test the waters and see if someone’s up for you breaking through this barrier, find an excuse to step briefly into this zone—say, by allowing someone behind you to pass, or to grab an appetizer off a wandering tray—then step back out again. If this person is drawn to you, he or she will respond by stepping in closer after you’ve backed off.
ME: Let’s say you are flirting with someone and you want to take things up a notch without coming on too strong. Should you touch the person in question? Where is a good place to touch? I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that anything below the belt and above the thigh is not such a great idea.
JUDY: Right! One safe option is to touch someone’s forearm or elbow—it will seem friendly, but not too friendly. In one experiment where waitresses were asked to touch customers’ forearms while handing over a menu, these waitresses received much higher tips than those who didn’t touch the forearm. This suggests that touch magically warms people up to your presence.
ME: Finally... I noticed a study mentioned in your book about how it's not just men who look at boobs. As it turns out, ladies will often sneak a glance at men’s private parts! Really?
JUDY: You bet! Women are just better at hiding the fact that they check out the goods on a guy. This is due to their higher powers of peripheral vision. Typically, women’s peripheral vision extends 45 degrees to the sides, above, and below where they’re looking. Men’s peripheral vision, on the other hand, is much narrower in scope. Men can spot things far in front of them—which was probably great for hunting in ancient times, but not so great when you’re trying to sneak a peak at something hovering along the outskirts. In one experiment, research team Alan and Barbara Pease took men and women to a nudist camp and filmed their eye movements. Men were clearly staring agog at women’s boobs, butts, and privates, even though they swore they were trying to hide it. Women, however, claimed they were constantly sneaking peaks at men’s packages, but never once looked like they were.
I guess the moral of the story for women is this: If a man’s talking to your boobs, give him a break, since you’re probably checking out the goods on him, too.
-----------------------
DEAR COMMENTERS: Thanks for all your advice this week! And XenZen, Ray, Edwinna, Wondergirl, Maddy, Agustina, Angela, Alexandra: thanks for giving me a little talking-to yesterday. Yes, sometimes I need a kick in my well-toned butt. (Ha!)
And I think it's worth repeating the advice Wondergirl gave me: "You must believe with every fiber of your being that you are going to find the right person for you." Amen to that, sister.
Oh, and Alexandra: one thing: I really don't think this guy is quite the person for me. (He also didn't ask ME on a second date.) So, I think it's okay to let things more or less slide at this point (though we'll remain friendly).
Also, Edwinna, I DID look into the Meet Up thing. There's some bluegrass thing that looks pretty cool ... I'll have to get on that.
ME: In you book, you say a person mirror his or her date’s movement if he/she likes her/him. Can you tell us how to "mirror"?
JUDY: Mirroring your date’s movements—a practice known as the chameleon effect—conveys that you two are on the same wavelength, which can enhance your rapport. So if your date crosses his legs, cross yours. If he takes a swig of his drink, sip yours. Or, just ask your date to dance. Dancing forces you to mirror each other’s movements, which is why it’s such a surefire romantic mood-setter.
#2: THE GESTURE THAT WILL MAKE SOMEONE WANT TO CUDDLE WITH YOU
ME: Wow! Cool! Who knew there was a science to the dancing thing!
You also say, in your book, that “aw, shucks” gestures—like shrugging or turning up your palm—are good in a flirty situation. Why's that?
JUDY: One goal of flirting is to advertise your friendly intentions. An upturned palm is a way to say “I have nothing to hide.” (In ancient times it probably meant “I’m not holding a rock to throw at you.”) Shrugging your shoulders, a gesture known among biologists as the “cute response,” crops up unconsciously when we see babies or puppies. It essentially says, “You’re cute! Let’s cuddle!” And that works wonders in a dating scenario as well.
#3: GETTING INTO SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE--IN A GOOD WAY
ME: You write that it’s a good idea to get into someone’s personal space a little. Why's that? And how should you do it? When should you get OUT of their personal space?
JUDY: The bubble of air eighteen inches around someone’s body is their “intimate space”—a no-go zone when you first meet someone. To test the waters and see if someone’s up for you breaking through this barrier, find an excuse to step briefly into this zone—say, by allowing someone behind you to pass, or to grab an appetizer off a wandering tray—then step back out again. If this person is drawn to you, he or she will respond by stepping in closer after you’ve backed off.
ME: Let’s say you are flirting with someone and you want to take things up a notch without coming on too strong. Should you touch the person in question? Where is a good place to touch? I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that anything below the belt and above the thigh is not such a great idea.
JUDY: Right! One safe option is to touch someone’s forearm or elbow—it will seem friendly, but not too friendly. In one experiment where waitresses were asked to touch customers’ forearms while handing over a menu, these waitresses received much higher tips than those who didn’t touch the forearm. This suggests that touch magically warms people up to your presence.
ME: Finally... I noticed a study mentioned in your book about how it's not just men who look at boobs. As it turns out, ladies will often sneak a glance at men’s private parts! Really?
JUDY: You bet! Women are just better at hiding the fact that they check out the goods on a guy. This is due to their higher powers of peripheral vision. Typically, women’s peripheral vision extends 45 degrees to the sides, above, and below where they’re looking. Men’s peripheral vision, on the other hand, is much narrower in scope. Men can spot things far in front of them—which was probably great for hunting in ancient times, but not so great when you’re trying to sneak a peak at something hovering along the outskirts. In one experiment, research team Alan and Barbara Pease took men and women to a nudist camp and filmed their eye movements. Men were clearly staring agog at women’s boobs, butts, and privates, even though they swore they were trying to hide it. Women, however, claimed they were constantly sneaking peaks at men’s packages, but never once looked like they were.
I guess the moral of the story for women is this: If a man’s talking to your boobs, give him a break, since you’re probably checking out the goods on him, too.
-----------------------
DEAR COMMENTERS: Thanks for all your advice this week! And XenZen, Ray, Edwinna, Wondergirl, Maddy, Agustina, Angela, Alexandra: thanks for giving me a little talking-to yesterday. Yes, sometimes I need a kick in my well-toned butt. (Ha!)
And I think it's worth repeating the advice Wondergirl gave me: "You must believe with every fiber of your being that you are going to find the right person for you." Amen to that, sister.
Oh, and Alexandra: one thing: I really don't think this guy is quite the person for me. (He also didn't ask ME on a second date.) So, I think it's okay to let things more or less slide at this point (though we'll remain friendly).
Also, Edwinna, I DID look into the Meet Up thing. There's some bluegrass thing that looks pretty cool ... I'll have to get on that.
5 Pointers on Flirting While Using Public Transportation
Hmm. I'm slightly depressed today, partly because the antidepressants I started taking in December are killing my metabolism, and I've gained a little weight despite the fact that I'm eating substantially less. (Ironic, no? Anti-D's making me depressed? But overall, they're helping a lot, particularly with my chronic insomnia problem, so I shouldn't complain.) Another thing that has me ever-so-slightly down is that so many of my single girlfriends seem to be hooking up with people! For instance, one of my cronies — who shall remain nameless — who has the world's perkiest boobs (while mine are about as upright as two drunkards after a long night at the bar) — she, my perky-breasted friend, made out with this great guy we know. Another one of my girlfriends just got out of a mini-relationship, and to cheer her up, I arranged a date between her and one of my male buddies; and now THAT seems to be going well. A third chick I know is having a no-strings-attached affair with some dude. And I got nothing. Unless you count Singer, which I don't. No disrespect to him, but there's not enough grist there to even properly call it a fling.
So here I sit, eating low-fat yogurt and clipping my toenails.
I know what you're thinking: Get out there and flirt, ya dope! And you're right.
Although last night, I sort of met a stranger. I had my session with Dr. H. (Which was pretty boring. We talked a little about my financial worries — I haven't made very much money this year — and about my usual not-good-enough self-esteem issues. Also a little bit about Singer and how, crazy as it probably sounds, I've learned a few good communication lessons from him.) Anyway, after the couch-time, I went to the gym, to Whole Foods, and then hopped on the subway to get home, thinking Must flirt, must flirt, must flirt! Must get fodder for blog!
And sitting across from me was an attractive-enough guy, who looked like he was of Southeast Asian descent, reading a novel I've heard a lot of good things about: Roberto Bolaño's 2666. A perfect opening, I told myself. Just ask him how it is. But he was too far away ... and he seemed so engrossed in his book ... and station after station passed ... and I couldn't open my mouth ...
At Times Square, a mob of Midwesterners streamed onto our subway car, and I took advantage of the diversion to slip across the aisle, and plant myself diagonal to Bolaño. He didn't notice me ... but I noticed the ring on his finger. Married. The stakes were gone. Which is why I was then completely capable of saying, "Hey, do you like the book?" without breaking a sweat.
I know, I know: That totally didn't count. But at least it was a little warm-up, right? (By the way, he's totally digging the book, which is something of a postmodern detective story.)
Here are some of my thoughts about the best ways to flirt while availing of the public transportation system in your fine city, town, or hamlet:
-Choose your seat wisely. It's a lot more natural to get close, conversationally, if you're not three rows back. But don't feel too self-conscious about making a strategic seat-change either. Chances are, the guy is never going to notice — and if he does, he might just be checking you out, too.
-If a guy's reading something, ask him about it. But don't just say, like I did, "Do you like that book?" Because then you're at risk of getting a one-word answer. Ask something more open-ended, like: "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you seem to be enjoying that book. May I ask what it's about?" If the dude's got a newspaper or magazine, you might want to ask if there are any must-read articles in it.
-Remember that the two of you have at least one thing in common: You're traveling along the same route. So you could ask a question about how many stops the train will make before yours, how long it might take to get there, or which station is closest to your final destination.
-Keep this thought in your head all the time: I'm never going to see this person again if I don't talk to him now ... so what do I have to lose?
If you guys have any thoughts about how best to engage sexy strangers on planes, trains, or subway platforms, please let me know!
Later. xxx.
So here I sit, eating low-fat yogurt and clipping my toenails.
I know what you're thinking: Get out there and flirt, ya dope! And you're right.
Although last night, I sort of met a stranger. I had my session with Dr. H. (Which was pretty boring. We talked a little about my financial worries — I haven't made very much money this year — and about my usual not-good-enough self-esteem issues. Also a little bit about Singer and how, crazy as it probably sounds, I've learned a few good communication lessons from him.) Anyway, after the couch-time, I went to the gym, to Whole Foods, and then hopped on the subway to get home, thinking Must flirt, must flirt, must flirt! Must get fodder for blog!
And sitting across from me was an attractive-enough guy, who looked like he was of Southeast Asian descent, reading a novel I've heard a lot of good things about: Roberto Bolaño's 2666. A perfect opening, I told myself. Just ask him how it is. But he was too far away ... and he seemed so engrossed in his book ... and station after station passed ... and I couldn't open my mouth ...
At Times Square, a mob of Midwesterners streamed onto our subway car, and I took advantage of the diversion to slip across the aisle, and plant myself diagonal to Bolaño. He didn't notice me ... but I noticed the ring on his finger. Married. The stakes were gone. Which is why I was then completely capable of saying, "Hey, do you like the book?" without breaking a sweat.
I know, I know: That totally didn't count. But at least it was a little warm-up, right? (By the way, he's totally digging the book, which is something of a postmodern detective story.)
Here are some of my thoughts about the best ways to flirt while availing of the public transportation system in your fine city, town, or hamlet:
-Choose your seat wisely. It's a lot more natural to get close, conversationally, if you're not three rows back. But don't feel too self-conscious about making a strategic seat-change either. Chances are, the guy is never going to notice — and if he does, he might just be checking you out, too.
-If a guy's reading something, ask him about it. But don't just say, like I did, "Do you like that book?" Because then you're at risk of getting a one-word answer. Ask something more open-ended, like: "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you seem to be enjoying that book. May I ask what it's about?" If the dude's got a newspaper or magazine, you might want to ask if there are any must-read articles in it.
-Remember that the two of you have at least one thing in common: You're traveling along the same route. So you could ask a question about how many stops the train will make before yours, how long it might take to get there, or which station is closest to your final destination.
-Keep this thought in your head all the time: I'm never going to see this person again if I don't talk to him now ... so what do I have to lose?
If you guys have any thoughts about how best to engage sexy strangers on planes, trains, or subway platforms, please let me know!
Later. xxx.
How to Be Happy--Even If You're Single (Tips from *The Happiness Project*)
If you’re like me—and just about every last one of my single female friends—you often think that you’d be happier if only you were in a relationship. But does being in a relationship really make you happier? And how can you make yourself happier, with or without a mate? I talked to Gretchen Rubin, the author of the popular blog The Happiness Project about all this. She had some great pointers for how single people can get more out of life—and maybe just find their way to a relationship in the process.
ME: Gretchen, much as I wish this weren’t the case, every unattached woman that I know—from my 24-year-old hairdresser to my 38-year-old former editor to my 30-year-old best lesbian buddy—wants to be with someone! Any advice on how to feel okay about being single?
GRETCHEN: Remember how much freedom you have, as a single person. You don’t have to coordinate your schedule with anyone else’s. You have all the time you want to go to the gym, see old friends, make new ones, take classes, meet new people—whatever you feel like doing. Don’t focus on what you think you’re missing. Focus on all you can do. And stop comparing yourself to other people who seem better off than you are—like everyone else who’s in a relationship. The more you do that, the less happy you’ll feel. Think, instead, about people who are worse off than you are: like everyone who’s homeless, or who’s lost their homes as a result of the mortgage crisis, or people who are struggling through a painful divorce.
ME: Are people who are in relationships actually happier than those of us who aren’t?
GRETCHEN: There is happiness that comes from being in a relationship—from giving and getting companionship and support. But if you’re not romantically involved with someone, there are other ways to find those benefits—through strong relationships with friends, for instance.
ME: Okay. I’m lucky enough to have some great friends, and to be pretty good at making new ones. But do you have any advice for people who have trouble doing that?
GRETCHEN: Join or start a group related to something you’re interested in—a book club, a knitting circle, a wine-tasting group. Lead a Girl Scout troop. Start taking a regular exercise class or going on hikes with a local organization. Go to the dog run. (Doing exercise and getting out in nature are great ways to add some happiness to your day, by the way.) And make an effort to get to know the friends of your friends! They'll be a great foundation for you in particular if you’re moving to a new city.
Another thing: I’m not the most out-going person, but I’ve made a rule for myself that I need to make three new friends in every situation . I’m always on the look-out for them, which helps keep me more open and engaging. So, if you start a new job, say, or move to a new neighborhood, look out for your new buddies.
ME: Yes, you know, I’ve been finding that just saying to myself, I should be on the look-out for someone to flirt with makes me feel more willing to talk to people, and more excited about it, too.
GRETCHEN: That's great. If you need a booster, keep in mind that studies have shown both extroverts and introverts are made happier by engaging with other people. (It’s just dependent on the situation: Introverts aren’t going to feel comfortable at a big party where they don’t know many people, for example, but will feel better in a one-on-one interaction.) In other words: Everybody likes to have a nice interaction with another person.
ME: Do you have any other tips about small ways you can make yourself happier?
GRETCHEN: My blog is full of tips about how to do that.
ME: Okay, cool. My blog is about capitalizing on all the opportunities there are in life to flirt with people--but to be able to do that best, I'm learning, I have to feel happy and confident! Any tips on how to improve self-esteem?
GRETCHEN: By doing things that you consider worthwhile or admirable. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Or, if you don’t have time, sign up to be an organ donor. It takes you 10 seconds to register and you could potentially save seven lives! Do things that you would respect in other people and you will gain self-respect. For instance, if you wish people would help you network to get a job, then help other people network. If you wish people would set you up, then set other people up.
ME: So funny—I’ve been doing a lot of that lately! (In fact, I just introduced my adorable hair dresser to someone!) And people really appreciate it. And I feel good about it, too.
GRETCHEN: See?
There are also self-contained things you can do to feel better about yourself. Like:
-Get up every morning a little early to go for a run—and stick to your new exercise routine.
-Quit smoking.
-Pay down your credit card.
Do things that you can respect—and you’ll have more respect for yourself. It’s that simple.
ME: Gretchen, much as I wish this weren’t the case, every unattached woman that I know—from my 24-year-old hairdresser to my 38-year-old former editor to my 30-year-old best lesbian buddy—wants to be with someone! Any advice on how to feel okay about being single?
GRETCHEN: Remember how much freedom you have, as a single person. You don’t have to coordinate your schedule with anyone else’s. You have all the time you want to go to the gym, see old friends, make new ones, take classes, meet new people—whatever you feel like doing. Don’t focus on what you think you’re missing. Focus on all you can do. And stop comparing yourself to other people who seem better off than you are—like everyone else who’s in a relationship. The more you do that, the less happy you’ll feel. Think, instead, about people who are worse off than you are: like everyone who’s homeless, or who’s lost their homes as a result of the mortgage crisis, or people who are struggling through a painful divorce.
ME: Are people who are in relationships actually happier than those of us who aren’t?
GRETCHEN: There is happiness that comes from being in a relationship—from giving and getting companionship and support. But if you’re not romantically involved with someone, there are other ways to find those benefits—through strong relationships with friends, for instance.
ME: Okay. I’m lucky enough to have some great friends, and to be pretty good at making new ones. But do you have any advice for people who have trouble doing that?
GRETCHEN: Join or start a group related to something you’re interested in—a book club, a knitting circle, a wine-tasting group. Lead a Girl Scout troop. Start taking a regular exercise class or going on hikes with a local organization. Go to the dog run. (Doing exercise and getting out in nature are great ways to add some happiness to your day, by the way.) And make an effort to get to know the friends of your friends! They'll be a great foundation for you in particular if you’re moving to a new city.
Another thing: I’m not the most out-going person, but I’ve made a rule for myself that I need to make three new friends in every situation . I’m always on the look-out for them, which helps keep me more open and engaging. So, if you start a new job, say, or move to a new neighborhood, look out for your new buddies.
ME: Yes, you know, I’ve been finding that just saying to myself, I should be on the look-out for someone to flirt with makes me feel more willing to talk to people, and more excited about it, too.
GRETCHEN: That's great. If you need a booster, keep in mind that studies have shown both extroverts and introverts are made happier by engaging with other people. (It’s just dependent on the situation: Introverts aren’t going to feel comfortable at a big party where they don’t know many people, for example, but will feel better in a one-on-one interaction.) In other words: Everybody likes to have a nice interaction with another person.
ME: Do you have any other tips about small ways you can make yourself happier?
GRETCHEN: My blog is full of tips about how to do that.
ME: Okay, cool. My blog is about capitalizing on all the opportunities there are in life to flirt with people--but to be able to do that best, I'm learning, I have to feel happy and confident! Any tips on how to improve self-esteem?
GRETCHEN: By doing things that you consider worthwhile or admirable. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Or, if you don’t have time, sign up to be an organ donor. It takes you 10 seconds to register and you could potentially save seven lives! Do things that you would respect in other people and you will gain self-respect. For instance, if you wish people would help you network to get a job, then help other people network. If you wish people would set you up, then set other people up.
ME: So funny—I’ve been doing a lot of that lately! (In fact, I just introduced my adorable hair dresser to someone!) And people really appreciate it. And I feel good about it, too.
GRETCHEN: See?
There are also self-contained things you can do to feel better about yourself. Like:
-Get up every morning a little early to go for a run—and stick to your new exercise routine.
-Quit smoking.
-Pay down your credit card.
Do things that you can respect—and you’ll have more respect for yourself. It’s that simple.
The Rise of Anal Sex
I may shock you today as I delve into a topic that is, to be honest, slightly out of my comfort zone: anal sex between men and women.
But I was reading Slate yesterday — they have a great column called "Human Nature" that I like — and I came across a piece that reported on a new national sex survey that was recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
The precis: We're all having more sex, and more kinds of sex than ever before, and we're getting sexually active at younger ages. But the "big story," as Slate writer William Saletan puts it, is anal sex! In 1992, a similar survey found that 16 percent of women aged 18-24 had tried it. Now the number is more like 40 percent. And in 1992, the highest percentage of women in any age group who admitted to anal sex was 33 percent. Now it's 46.
Saletan goes on to say: "The last time I looked at the anal sex data, I figured that most women who reported having done it meant they'd tried it just once. I was wrong. … One-third of these women say they've done it in the last month. Among all women surveyed, the number who reported anal sex in their most recent sexual encounter was three percent to four percent. That's a lot of butt sex. And remember, this is what women are reporting. If anything, they're probably understating the truth."
So, he wonders, what's the deal? Why are women so into it?
In the hopes of answering that question, he checks out the orgasm data and finds: "Among women who had vaginal sex in their last encounter, the percentage who said they reached orgasm was 65. Among those who received oral sex, it was 81. But among those who had anal sex, it was 94. Anal sex outscored cunnilingus." [You can read the data for yourself if you don't believe it: Table 5, Pages 357-8.]
"What could explain this?" Saletan asks. "Taboo thrill? Clitoral migration? Some new kind of vegetable oil?"
Giving the data another go, he finds that 86 percent of women who had anal also had vaginal sex, 72 percent also received oral sex, and 31 percent also had partnered masturbation. As he puts it, "The more sex acts a woman engaged in during the encounter, the more likely she was to report orgasm. These other activities are what gave the women their orgasms. The anal sex just came along for the ride. ... Women who were getting what they wanted were more likely to indulge their partners' wishes. It wasn't the anal sex that caused the orgasms. It was the orgasms that caused the anal sex."
If anyone has thoughts about Saletan's conclusion — if anyone wants to argue that anal, in itself, is a sure-fire way for a woman to orgasm, or is immensely more pleasurable than other bedroom activities — please give us the low-down.
I myself have never tried that method, and I have ZERO interest in it. I can't see how it would be anything but very painful, and I'd prefer not to find out just how painful it might be. However, I may be slightly prudish. As I've said a bunch of times now, I don't even like giving blow jobs.
Perhaps it's worth adding that contrary to popular belief, anal sex is not the wildest sexual fantasy of every single man in the world. Plenty of the guys I've dated, who seem to have healthy libidos and to be liberal thinkers about sexuality, were not into it.
Ladies, if any of you want to tell me what I'm missing, or correct me or back me up on any point here, please do!
Do Women Only Like Powerful Men Because of Evolution?
1. Women look for men who are "socially dominant."
Today's women "may be shooting up the career ladder and earning more than the men in their lives, but when it comes to relationships, men still hold the trump card," Neave claims. "I study patterns of behavior dating back to the first human societies and constantly analyze evidence that demonstrates the key differences which have developed between the sexes since men were hunter-gatherers and women were child bearers. Females are smaller and weaker than males, so, in prehistoric times, women and their offspring were prone to being the victims of predators and violence. They needed the support and protection of men who didn't just have brute force but also had social status in the group, either through their sheer physicality or the strength of their personality. That's why women still look for a mate of higher social standing. If a woman had a relationship with a socially dominant male, she would immediately get greater access to resources because her social standing would be elevated, too. As we shall see, modern surveys consistently show that women today ape [no pun intended?] those inherent characteristics by looking for partners who are socially dominant and have the respect of their peers, paying close attention to how men interact with, and are treated by, other men."
2. Men look for women who are young.
"Men have a different reason for choosing a mate," Neave continues. "The caveman needed to be sure he was raising a child who was genetically his. The best way of doing this was to secure a mate and guard her so she didn't get the chance to stray. A man's natural instinct may be to have sex with a different woman every day, but to safeguard his relationship (and secure his progeny), he has been forced into a pattern of monogamy. When couples meet at speed-dating events, typically a man will judge a woman on her looks and youth. His priorities are whether she's healthy, interested in sex, and can give him children one day. He doesn't care how much she earns or her social status. Typically, however, a woman's first question will be: 'What job do you do?' It sounds a friendly overture, but what she really wants to know is his social position and earning capacity. Is he an industrious, hard worker, capable of providing for her and their children? Because of his power, even the ugliest politician on the planet has women lining up to go to bed with him... As American statesman Henry Kissinger put it: 'Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.'"
3. Women will pick the powerful over the sexy.
Neave goes on to quote a study in which the researchers (from Syracuse University and University of Toledo) presented women with photographs of men. The first group, described as doctors, wore designer ties, smart shirts, and sported Rolex watches. The second wore plain shirts and Swatch watches and were described as teachers. The third group wore Burger King uniforms. Women repeatedly picked doctors as potential boyfriends — even though many of the men in the third category were actually more handsome.
Says Neave: "Quite simply, to women, a man's looks are less important than earning power and social standing."
Why evolutionary psychology bugs me.
I'm skeptical. I have mixed feelings about evolutionary psychology. On the one hand, it can help to explain some interesting stuff. On the other hand, it can be tiresomely reductive — and certain evolutionary psychologists can strike me as just as caveman-like as the cavemen they seem so interested in.
I mean, speaking for myself, as much as I'll take a multimillionare, sure, what I like even more are baby firemen. In other words, power doesn't turn me on one bit — unless it's coupled with youthful good looks! I am not at all hot for men who look "distinguished," i.e., "older." And I have to say, if anything is biologically programmed into me — or instinctual — I think it's my predilection for young men. Because hell knows I am aware that they are no good for me.
Another thing: Neave kind of glides from his point about prehistoric women liking men who were physically strong and had brute strength to the bit about how men with higher social standing also helped our progenitors survive — which, according to him, makes the case that women still like socially dominant men. But ... well ... what about physically strong men? Sure, the men who will most help us survive in today's world don't need brute strength — a great job is a better signal that they will be a good mate. But, if our prehistoric brains were really controlling us so much, wouldn't we still look for the brute strength? Wouldn't we still find that most attractive? But according to the evolutionary psychologists, we women don't care about a hot physique in our men, because if we did we'd all be salivating over the youngsters and the gym addicts. Instead, we are much more likely to choose powerful politicians, sexy old-man writers, and Woody Allens over some dumb hottie on the elliptical.
If you ask me, a woman is responding to a certain amount of personal greed — and societal pressure — more than any biological instinct when she picks a not-so-hot but rich old man over some sexy younger guy. Because she knows that men — for reasons that probably have something to do with biology but also certainly have a lot to do with cultural standards and societal pressures — prefer young women. So she figures she may as well get while the getting is good, and have a big stash of cash — and plenty of plastic surgery, courtesy of his credit card — by the time her old man dies.
Sure, this is a pretty extreme example ... but caveman are pretty extreme, too!
What do you guys think?
I think I need more coffee.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Life Changing Quotes 5
Life Changing Quotes 5
Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.
Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.
Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
How to avoid procrastination
Do you procrastinate ? Everyone does. There are some task we could put off but other we can't. Today's tip will help you to avoid procrastination. Here we go.
How to avoid procrastination
1. Write down your top priorities for the day,month, and year and regularly measure yourself to see if you are accomplishing your goals,getting closer, or moving away from them.
2. Quite thing that are wasting your time and not helping you get closer to your goal.It is important to know when to quit.
3. Get started. One of the most difficult part of any task is to get started.
4. Answer phone calls and check email when you have time. Some messages can wait.
5. Don't fear failure. It is better to try and fail than to have never try. No one is perfect.
It would be great if you applied some of the tips but it would be better if you applied all.
Be Cool!
Have you ever lost your temper ? Every looses their cool at least once. Some of us more often than than others. It does not have to be that way.
Ways to be cool:
1. Look before you leap
If you think about the negative effects of loosing your cool, then you may prefer the higher road.
2. Avoid toxic people
There are some people that were put on this earth to annoy us. First,identify them and know how to avoid them. For example ,at work,say something like I would love to talk, but I have to get something out by the ending of the day. In most cases, you always have to get something out all the time everyday.
3. Deal with toxic people
This may seem like conflicting advice but sometime we get angry at ourselves if we don't put our foots down. Just be nice and respectful while doing so. Being cool requires that we don't hurt others feeling no matter how toxic they are.
4. Vent outside the tent
Loosing your cool should be done outside. We are all human ,and we have to vent but just take it outside. Go for a walk. As cool as Obama is,he still gets angry but,he takes it outside. He plays basketball with his staff to vent.
5. Be patient
Sometimes thing are not the way they seem. We sometimes jump to false conclusions that cause us to get fired up.Be cool and think good of people and situations. Be patient and in time the truth will be revealed. Remember what is fast and simple is not always best. And jumping to false conclusion is fast and simple. Practicing patience and goodwill is cool.
Fun Ways To Relieve Stress
Are you stressed out ? Being stressed is part of life. How we handle it makes the difference. Stress leads to high blood pressure and a slew of other health risks. I guess the old saying that stress kills is true. It does not have to be that way. Life is too priceless and we should treat it as such by not being stressed all time.
Fun Ways To Relieve Stress:
1. Go for a walk
Getting away (if possible) from the environment that stresses you helps. If you know that someone or something at work (any setting) stresses you then take a break from it.
2. Play a game
Research proven that playing games release stress. I recently read a study showed that playing Pacman help relief trauma.
3. Smile
Don't let stress get you down. Think of a happy moment in your life and smile when faced with stress.
4. Fast Forward
Will the situation causing your stress matter in three years? Most likely NOT. Forgetaboutit! The next time you are tempted to raise your blood pressure just fast forwards and don't forget to smile.
5. Be human
Everyone makes mistakes. To err is human. Learn from your mistakes,don't repeat them and move on. Don't let them stress you out. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we were all perfect. We would never learn anything new if we did not step out of our comfort zone.Remember, Thomas Edison failed up to 10,000 times before he got the light bulb correct. Stop worrying so much and keep doing the remarkable work you do.
STOP STRESSING AND START LIVING!
Ways to be cool:
1. Look before you leap
If you think about the negative effects of loosing your cool, then you may prefer the higher road.
2. Avoid toxic people
There are some people that were put on this earth to annoy us. First,identify them and know how to avoid them. For example ,at work,say something like I would love to talk, but I have to get something out by the ending of the day. In most cases, you always have to get something out all the time everyday.
3. Deal with toxic people
This may seem like conflicting advice but sometime we get angry at ourselves if we don't put our foots down. Just be nice and respectful while doing so. Being cool requires that we don't hurt others feeling no matter how toxic they are.
4. Vent outside the tent
Loosing your cool should be done outside. We are all human ,and we have to vent but just take it outside. Go for a walk. As cool as Obama is,he still gets angry but,he takes it outside. He plays basketball with his staff to vent.
5. Be patient
Sometimes thing are not the way they seem. We sometimes jump to false conclusions that cause us to get fired up.Be cool and think good of people and situations. Be patient and in time the truth will be revealed. Remember what is fast and simple is not always best. And jumping to false conclusion is fast and simple. Practicing patience and goodwill is cool.
Fun Ways To Relieve Stress
Are you stressed out ? Being stressed is part of life. How we handle it makes the difference. Stress leads to high blood pressure and a slew of other health risks. I guess the old saying that stress kills is true. It does not have to be that way. Life is too priceless and we should treat it as such by not being stressed all time.
Fun Ways To Relieve Stress:
1. Go for a walk
Getting away (if possible) from the environment that stresses you helps. If you know that someone or something at work (any setting) stresses you then take a break from it.
2. Play a game
Research proven that playing games release stress. I recently read a study showed that playing Pacman help relief trauma.
3. Smile
Don't let stress get you down. Think of a happy moment in your life and smile when faced with stress.
4. Fast Forward
Will the situation causing your stress matter in three years? Most likely NOT. Forgetaboutit! The next time you are tempted to raise your blood pressure just fast forwards and don't forget to smile.
5. Be human
Everyone makes mistakes. To err is human. Learn from your mistakes,don't repeat them and move on. Don't let them stress you out. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we were all perfect. We would never learn anything new if we did not step out of our comfort zone.Remember, Thomas Edison failed up to 10,000 times before he got the light bulb correct. Stop worrying so much and keep doing the remarkable work you do.
STOP STRESSING AND START LIVING!
30 days trial challenge !
You want to loose weight,become a better writer, eat healthier, and of course become richer. Everyone has ambitions but implementation is our downfall. It does not have to be that way. You are capable of achieving remarkable results. But you have start by doing it for 30 days.
How to accomplish your goals in 30 days
1. Have a strong intention
Our intentions will lead our actions.I recently complete a month of fasting. On the night before I started to fast,I made a strong intention in my heart that I will fast everyday for the next month. Positive intentions lead us to positive results.You should also write down your goal that you are trying to accomplish in 30 days. Reviewing your goals within the trial might help you stay focused.
2. Work on one goal
We can't do everything. Pick one goal and stick with it for 30 days then move to your next goal. So you want to stop smoking and loose 10 pounds. Start with one because try to do both may cause you fail at both. Engaging in this 30 days trial period will be not as easy as it may sound so hold off on multitasking. At the end of 30 days, hopefully you would have quit smoking and that will motivate you to work on loosing those 10 pounds.
3. Do it everyday
It will be hard at first but anything not normally done is hard at first. Skipping a day may lead to failure and doom. Don't defeat yourself;work on your goal every day for the next 30 days. Your life may change after 30 days.But you will never know if you take a break,quit, or just give up on day 3. Just do it EVERYDAY (for 30 days).
4. Be patient
Thirty days is a long time and only patience will get you through it. Focus on the positive effect of loosing ten pound will have on you. You will be able fit in those jeans,say no unhealthy food,continue your long term goal of just living and looking healthier. But none of that will not happen if you don't remind patient and keep going when you feel you can't go any more and give into that yummy super sized Big Mac.
5. Find a friend
It may be easier if you have a friend along the way for the trial. Both of you will do great. If your buddy falls apart then you must keep on going. You are doing this for you.
6. Keep Going
Why stop after 30 days. Keep going turn it into a 60,90, eventually a complete long term lifestyle change. At the same time, you start your next challenge. Don't run away from challenges;rather you should embrace them.
If you can do it for 30 days,then you can do it for the rest of your life.
How to accomplish your goals in 30 days
1. Have a strong intention
Our intentions will lead our actions.I recently complete a month of fasting. On the night before I started to fast,I made a strong intention in my heart that I will fast everyday for the next month. Positive intentions lead us to positive results.You should also write down your goal that you are trying to accomplish in 30 days. Reviewing your goals within the trial might help you stay focused.
2. Work on one goal
We can't do everything. Pick one goal and stick with it for 30 days then move to your next goal. So you want to stop smoking and loose 10 pounds. Start with one because try to do both may cause you fail at both. Engaging in this 30 days trial period will be not as easy as it may sound so hold off on multitasking. At the end of 30 days, hopefully you would have quit smoking and that will motivate you to work on loosing those 10 pounds.
3. Do it everyday
It will be hard at first but anything not normally done is hard at first. Skipping a day may lead to failure and doom. Don't defeat yourself;work on your goal every day for the next 30 days. Your life may change after 30 days.But you will never know if you take a break,quit, or just give up on day 3. Just do it EVERYDAY (for 30 days).
4. Be patient
Thirty days is a long time and only patience will get you through it. Focus on the positive effect of loosing ten pound will have on you. You will be able fit in those jeans,say no unhealthy food,continue your long term goal of just living and looking healthier. But none of that will not happen if you don't remind patient and keep going when you feel you can't go any more and give into that yummy super sized Big Mac.
5. Find a friend
It may be easier if you have a friend along the way for the trial. Both of you will do great. If your buddy falls apart then you must keep on going. You are doing this for you.
6. Keep Going
Why stop after 30 days. Keep going turn it into a 60,90, eventually a complete long term lifestyle change. At the same time, you start your next challenge. Don't run away from challenges;rather you should embrace them.
If you can do it for 30 days,then you can do it for the rest of your life.
How to say no nicely!
Do you ever get the feeling that you don't say NO enough ? Most of us find it very difficult to say no. Not saying no can lead to our failure. Being a yes man or woman causes to us become overloaded and frustrated. It does not have to be that way. Have no fear this post is here to save the day.
How to say NO:
Having the courage to say no is an art. You can say no without saying no or you could just be blunt and blurt it out. For example, if co-worker wants to have lunch with you but you want to stay in and finish your time sensitive project then choosing any of the options below could work:
Option 1:
Say something like I would love to have lunch with you,but I have a tight deadline. Don't worry he will live.
Option 2:
Or you could just tell him NO;end of story no explanation needed. You know your peps best.
Option 3:
Or you could say I am working on something;I will get back to you.Make sure you back to him after your project is done.
Option 4:
Or just simply say now is not a good time. Honesty is the best policy.
SAY IT WITH ME:
NO,I am not eating now.
NO, you can't burrow another $100.
NO, I will not cancel my doctors appointment,I waited 3 months for, for you.
NO, I can't work 4 hours a day when I am on vacation.
NO, you can't have that new $500 game console.
NO, I will not eat that.
NO, I will not stay with you and be miserable.
NO, is a new word that I will use more in my vocabulary starting today.
No is not a bad word.
Using these different ways of saying NO mentioned will make your life more bearable.
How to say NO:
Having the courage to say no is an art. You can say no without saying no or you could just be blunt and blurt it out. For example, if co-worker wants to have lunch with you but you want to stay in and finish your time sensitive project then choosing any of the options below could work:
Option 1:
Say something like I would love to have lunch with you,but I have a tight deadline. Don't worry he will live.
Option 2:
Or you could just tell him NO;end of story no explanation needed. You know your peps best.
Option 3:
Or you could say I am working on something;I will get back to you.Make sure you back to him after your project is done.
Option 4:
Or just simply say now is not a good time. Honesty is the best policy.
SAY IT WITH ME:
NO,I am not eating now.
NO, you can't burrow another $100.
NO, I will not cancel my doctors appointment,I waited 3 months for, for you.
NO, I can't work 4 hours a day when I am on vacation.
NO, you can't have that new $500 game console.
NO, I will not eat that.
NO, I will not stay with you and be miserable.
NO, is a new word that I will use more in my vocabulary starting today.
No is not a bad word.
Using these different ways of saying NO mentioned will make your life more bearable.
How to avoid holiday weight gain!
Unhealthy weight! Do you gain weight during the holiday seasons ? Of course you.
Most of us do. Today ,we will offer some tips that will help you to keep those happy and merry pounds off.
Tips to avoid gaining weight during the holidays:
1. Drink Water
Drinking more water before your meals will help to fill you up before that 6 course meal. Try drinking at least 1-2 cups of water before meals ,and you will not have space for seconds or that last gingerbread man cookie.
2. Eat a Salad
Salad will also helps to fill you up before your main course. Try your best to avoid those high fat salad dressing.
3. Get Your Sleep
Lack of sleep has been proven to increase weight gain. From a non scientific point of view, it makes sense the more we are up the more tend to eat. When you are on the road visiting family or friend don't forget to get a good night rest (6-8 hours).
4. Eat Less
This may be a no brain ,but is very difficult when there is tons of fabulous food tempting you. Sampling the goodies may be a plan and will help you to eat less. Don't fill you plate with those
snacks just take 1 or 2 pieces.
5. Continue Exercising
Observing the holidays is no excuse to not exercises. There might not be enough time but simply going for a walk could help do the trick. Go to the mall to take advantage of all those great deals will definitely be a good form of exercise.
Good lifestyle habits should be practiced everyday including the holidays.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
10 Interesting Facts About Hindu Weddings
Hindu weddings like weddings in other cultures consist of many traditions and facts. Weddings are a special occasion marking the union of two souls in a relationship of a lifetime. Every culture and religion has their own ways to conduct and celebrate the auspicious occasion. All the customs and rituals that we see in any culture’s wedding have a story or a reason behind them, which gives meaning to the entire process.
If we look at the traditional Indian Hindu marriages, there are a lot of interesting rituals that are followed rendering the celebrations unique. Here are few:
Hindu Wedding Date
The wedding date is not picked up at random. The astrologers declare a certain time period marked as auspicious, which usually falls around months of January, February, June, July, November and December.
Family Engagement
Hindu weddings are considered not just the union of two people but also two families. So, almost all the customs involve participation of all the family members from both sides. The engagement ceremony sees the families, friends and relatives from both sides exchange gifts. This builds relations.
Hindu Wedding Duration
The weddings are a week long affair. Starting with the “Haldi” ceremony, where both the bride and the groom are smeared with turmeric paste, separately. Turmeric is considered to be a natural agent that brings glow to the skin. The bride and the groom are forbidden to meet or move out of their respective homes until the wedding day.
Mehendi in Hindu Wedding
Another lavish ceremony is the “Mehendi” where, all the female relatives and friends of the bride gather together and apply henna to the bride hands and feet, with the groom’s name hidden in the beautiful pattern.
The “Mehndi” is usually coupled with the “Sangeet” ceremony, where all the friends and relatives come together and dance to the beats of the traditional songs.
Wedding Day and White Horse
On the wedding day, the groom arrives on the bride’s doorstep, seated on a white horse. This is a tradition carried ahead since the olden days in India, when horses were the only means of transport, and white horses are considered auspicious. Nowadays the white horse is replaced by a wedding coach car but many people who can afford it, still prefer the symbolic white horse.
Wedding Procession
The grooms journey till the bride’s home is in the form of a procession with much fanfare. This is called the “Baraat”. The groom is surrounded by his friends and relatives who dance all the way till the wedding venue where they are welcomed lavishly with gifts and garlands.
Pheras
The mainstay of the wedding ceremony are the “7 Pheras”. Here the bride and the groom walk around the holy fire with the priest chanting mantra’s alongside. Each round (Phera) around the holy fire represents a vow. So, the couple exchange their weddng vows in presence of family and demi-gods bless them. After the vows, the groom fills the bride’s hair parting with a red powder called “Sindoor” which now marks her as a married woman.
Shoe Stealing
On the wedding day, sisters of the bride steal the groom’s shoes and the groom has to pay whatever amount of money they ask for in return. The money given is also considered auspicious.
Farewell ceremony
The morning after the wedding, bride is given a lavish farewell, by the entire family. The ceremony is called “Vidaai”. This usually turns emotional with everyone becoming tearful at the impending seperation. Nevertheless, the couple is blessed by all the elders as they leave for groom’s house where host of other celebrations await them.
If we look at the traditional Indian Hindu marriages, there are a lot of interesting rituals that are followed rendering the celebrations unique. Here are few:
Hindu Wedding Date
The wedding date is not picked up at random. The astrologers declare a certain time period marked as auspicious, which usually falls around months of January, February, June, July, November and December.
Family Engagement
Hindu weddings are considered not just the union of two people but also two families. So, almost all the customs involve participation of all the family members from both sides. The engagement ceremony sees the families, friends and relatives from both sides exchange gifts. This builds relations.
Hindu Wedding Duration
The weddings are a week long affair. Starting with the “Haldi” ceremony, where both the bride and the groom are smeared with turmeric paste, separately. Turmeric is considered to be a natural agent that brings glow to the skin. The bride and the groom are forbidden to meet or move out of their respective homes until the wedding day.
Mehendi in Hindu Wedding
Another lavish ceremony is the “Mehendi” where, all the female relatives and friends of the bride gather together and apply henna to the bride hands and feet, with the groom’s name hidden in the beautiful pattern.
The “Mehndi” is usually coupled with the “Sangeet” ceremony, where all the friends and relatives come together and dance to the beats of the traditional songs.
Wedding Day and White Horse
On the wedding day, the groom arrives on the bride’s doorstep, seated on a white horse. This is a tradition carried ahead since the olden days in India, when horses were the only means of transport, and white horses are considered auspicious. Nowadays the white horse is replaced by a wedding coach car but many people who can afford it, still prefer the symbolic white horse.
Wedding Procession
The grooms journey till the bride’s home is in the form of a procession with much fanfare. This is called the “Baraat”. The groom is surrounded by his friends and relatives who dance all the way till the wedding venue where they are welcomed lavishly with gifts and garlands.
Pheras
The mainstay of the wedding ceremony are the “7 Pheras”. Here the bride and the groom walk around the holy fire with the priest chanting mantra’s alongside. Each round (Phera) around the holy fire represents a vow. So, the couple exchange their weddng vows in presence of family and demi-gods bless them. After the vows, the groom fills the bride’s hair parting with a red powder called “Sindoor” which now marks her as a married woman.
Shoe Stealing
On the wedding day, sisters of the bride steal the groom’s shoes and the groom has to pay whatever amount of money they ask for in return. The money given is also considered auspicious.
Farewell ceremony
The morning after the wedding, bride is given a lavish farewell, by the entire family. The ceremony is called “Vidaai”. This usually turns emotional with everyone becoming tearful at the impending seperation. Nevertheless, the couple is blessed by all the elders as they leave for groom’s house where host of other celebrations await them.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Hindu wedding is thought to be the bringing of two people who are said to be compatible. Hindu wedding Ceremonies are traditionally conducted at least partially in Sanskrit, the language in which most holy Hindu ceremonies are conducted. The local language of the people involved is also used since most Hindus cannot understand Sanskrit. They have many rituals that have evolved since traditional times and differ in many ways from the modern western wedding ceremony and also among the different regions, families, and castes such as Rajput weddings and Iyer weddings. The Hindus attach a lot of importance to marriages and the ceremonies are very colorful and extend for several days.
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. By the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 passed by the Union Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are considered as Hindus for the purpose of the Act and can hence intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a non-Hindu employing any ceremony provided certain legal conditions are fulfilled.
The pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or oral agreement and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession. The post-wedding ceremonies involve welcoming the bride to her new home.
Just as Hinduism is hard to grasp and contrast against the newer, book-defined, structured religions such as Christianity and Islam, India's prevalent wedding traditions are also hard to categorize purely on a religious basis.
Despite modern Hinduism being largely based on the puja form of the worship of devas as enshrined in the Puranas, a Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna (a fire-sacrifice), in which the Aryan deities are invoked in the Indo-Aryan style. It has a deep origin in the ancient ceremony of cementing the bonds of friendship/alliance (even among people of the same sex or people of different species in mythological contexts), although today, it only survives in the context of weddings. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, and by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is deemed complete unless in the presence of the Sacred Fire, seven encirclements have been made around it by the bride and the groom together.
The ancient system of Hindu/Vedic marriages did not differentiate between male and female, as is done in modern times.
* The basis for a fulfilling and happy life
Te santu jard—istayah sampriyau royisnu sumansyamanau|
Pasyema sharadah shatam jivema sharadah shatam shrunuyam shardah shatam||
“We should be able to live a graceful life that is full of mutual love and warmth. Our sentiments should be auspicious.
We should be able to see for a hundred years, live a healthy life of a hundred years and listen the music of spring for a hundred years.”
The sage of the above mentioned vedic — aca, has emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife. Thus, marriage is not for self-indulgence, but rather should be considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an
opportunity for two people to grow from life partners into soul mates
Main rituals
All of the rituals vary based on family traditions. The names of the rituals also vary depending on the area the ritual is performed like south or north India. Especially the rituals are very different from south India to north India.
Prior to marriage
Conducted at the homes of the parents of the bride and the groom.
Engagement
in front of the community members to marry their son and daughter, sometimes using a document. Both families will also come to an agreement about the date of the wedding. Both will talk about their families and some details of the wedding or engagement. In Tamil it is called neechiyum, meaning the "confirmation" of both parties agreed without any objection.
Barni Bandhwana
Approximately 15 days prior to the actual wedding, on an auspicious day, the pundit will perform a puja to Lord Ganesh (the remover of obstacles). During this puja, a piece of mauli (thread) is tied to the hands of the groom, and his parents. This puja is done to humbly request that the wedding happen without any problems, apart from the occasional trivial mishaps.
Mayara
The mayara is an important ceremony, common to both the bride's and the groom's families. This ceremony is performed by the maternal uncle of the groom/bride, who, along with his wife and family, arrives with much fanfare, and is received by the bride/groom's mother with the traditional welcome.Mayara arrange by relative of mother's family, mostly brother(s) of mom.
Sangeet Sandhya
The sangeet sandhya is an evening of musical entertainment. This event takes place 2 or 3 days before a wedding in a Banquet Hall or if a small affair, then at home. The bride's family puts on a show for the groom and bride.
Tilak Ceremony
Tilak is a mark of auspiciousness. It is put on the forehead using Kumkum, a red turmeric powder. The male members of the bride's family, like her father, brother, uncles place a tilak on the forehead of the groom.
Mehendi Lagwana
Another name for "Vivaah" is "haath pila karna" or simply translated, making hands yellow. Mehendi (henna) is applied to the bride’s hands and feet. In the right hand, a round spot is left open for Hathlewa.
During marriage festivities
Barat Nikasi
[[File:A wedding procession with the bridegroom on a horse, Pushkar, The groom leaves for the wedding venue riding a decorated horse or elephant. This is a very colorful and grand ceremony. The groom is dressed in a sherwani (long jacket) and churidars (fitted trousers). On his head he wears a sehra (turban).
Before he departs, his relatives apply the ceremonial tilak on his forehead and his sister feeds the horse or elephant sweetened grain. The baraat (consisting of the groom seated on the horse or elephant, and relatives and friends of the groom) is headed by the dancing of the congregated folks.
Upon arriving at the venue of the wedding, the groom is welcomed by a welcome song called talota. Then the groom knocks on the door with his sword and enters.
Var Mala/Jai Mala
In most Hindu weddings, the groom is led to a small stage, known as mandap, where he is greeted by the bride's family. The maternal uncle, brother or brides' best friends bring the bride to the stage. The bride and the groom are handed the garlands while the priest is chanting the religious hymns. Following this, the groom and bride exchange garlands, which are the var mala or jai mala, signifying their acceptance of each other as husband and wife. Then, the groom's mother-in-law measures the groom's chest, and pokes and prods him to make sure he is tough enough to defend her daughter. She then puts kajal on the groom to ward off evil spirits. Before the exchange of the Var malas the bride and groom stand opposite to each other separated by a long piece of cloth known as antarpat. The mangalashtakas are recited and then the antarpat is removed and the bride and groom garland each other. This is the most auspicious and important ceremony and takes place on a muhurta(auspicious timing) decided by the vedic calendar known as Panchang.
Aarti
The baraatis (groom's party) are received by the bride's family and at the entrance to the wedding venue. The bride's mother welcomes the groom by performing the aarti (traditional Indian welcome ritual with a lamp or diya placed on a platter or thali) to welcome her son-in-law and places a tilak on his forehead
Baasi-Jawari
This event takes place the day of the wedding. The bride's sisters hide the groom's shoes and ask for money if he (groom) wants them back and be able to go home with the bride.
Kanya Daan
Kanya Daan, which means the giving away of one's daughter, has been derived from the Sanskrit words Kanya which means virgin girl and Daan which means donation. Kanya Daan is a very significant ritual performed by the father of the bride in presence of a large gathering that is invited to witness the wedding. The father pours out libation of sacred water symbolizing the giving away of his daughter to the bride groom. The groom recites Vedic hymns to Kama, the god of love, for pure love and blessings. The bride's sisters then steal the groom's shoes and ask for money for their return. This is a sign of the groom's loyalty.
As a condition for offering his daughter for marriage, the father of the bride requests a promise from the groom for assisting the bride in realizing the three ends:
# dharma,
# artha,
# and kama.
The groom makes the promise by repeating three times that he will not fail the bride in realizing dharma, artha and kama.
Ideally, the parents of the bride place the right hand of the bride over the right hand of the groom and place their own left hands at the bottom and the right hands (the two of them) on top, securing the Conch with gold, betel nut, flowers and a little fruit (in it) placed in bride's hand. It is at this point that the purpose of the Kanyadaan is clearly stated per scripture and the names of the parents and forefathers are stated from both sides. The wedding cannot legally proceed without this Kanyadaan step in which parents of the bride agree to the wedding.
In a Hindu wedding, the bride and groom marry each other and the priest only assists with the Mantra. He cannot declare them married as no authority is vested in him to do so. Agni, gods and the invited members of the family and friends are the witness. This ritual reveals that Wife is the form (avatar) and source of Purushardhas like Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha. This ritual also helps the bridegroom to think that his wife is the most valuable gift given by God himself, and helps the bride to think that her husband is a form of god himself. However widows and divorced women are not eligible for Kanya Daan ritual.
Panigrahana Hathlewa
After being led to the wedding mandup, the bride and groom have their hands tied together. The priest does a puja to Lord Ganesh and then puts a coin & mehendi on the bride's right hand where the round empty spot is (where no mehendi was put) and ties his hand with the brides. This puja is done schedule in advance based on an auspicious time & date.
gathabandhan
In this ritual the priest ties a knot using the ends of the clothing worn by the bride and groom. The priest ties the end of the groom's dhoti or kurta, whichever he is wearing, with that of the bride's saree; the knot signifies the sacred wedlock.
Laja Homa
The ritual connotes the actual core wedding ceremony, for the very meaning of the word vivaah is "marriage".[citation needed] The groom and the bride then circle the holy fire seven times, making seven promises to be fulfilled in the married life, after which they are considered to be married to each other. This ritual is called phere. Traditionally, there were three pheras. But now this has been mixed with saptapadi and now seven pheras are done for each vachan. In the south, most of the non-brahmin communities perform only three pheras, holding hands.
Saptapadi
Main article: Saptapadi
A Hindu bride shortly after the saptapdi ceremony
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet, c.f. Latin cognates septem+pedes) or the saat pheras is perhaps the most important component of Vedic Hindu weddings. The couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make each other.[4] In some regions, sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand.[4] Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom.[5] In Central India, the bride leads the first three or four circuits.[4] With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
* To provide for food always.
* To give you excellent health and energy.
* Todained in Vedas, during your life time.
* To give you happiness in life.
* To make your cows and good animals grow in strength and in numbers.
* To make all the seasons be beneficial to you.
* To make the homams (sacrifices to be done in Holy Fire) to be performed by you in your life as ordained in Vedas, successful and free from hindrances.
A joint vow is usually made at the end of the seven steps, which varies by region. A typical vow is:
After crossing seven steps with me thus, you should become my friend. I too have become your friend now. I will never discard this friendship and you should also not do that. Let us be together always. Let us resolve to do things in life in the same manner and tread the same path. Let us lead a life by liking and loving each other, having good hearts and thoughts, and enjoying the food and our strong points together. Let us have undivided opinions. We will perform the vrithas united. Let us have same and joint desires. I will be Sama (one of the vedas); you will be Rig (another Veda). Let me be the Heaven; you be the Earth. Let me be the Shukla (Moon) and you be its wearer. Let me be the mind and you its spokesman (Vak). With these qualities, you be my follower. You the sweet tongued, come to me to get good children and wealth.
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our unions be permanently settled.
Vidaai
A bride bids her family farewell at the end of the wedding ceremony.
Also called rukhsati in North India. This is considered to be the most emotional ritual, when the bride leaves her parents' home and makes her way to her husband's. Family and friends, who also shower her with blessings and gifts, give her a tearful farewell. The male members of the bride's family bid farewell to the groom by applying the traditional tilak (vermilion) to his forehead and showering him with gifts.
In earlier times the bride use to leave in a palanquin. Today, most newleyweds leave in a car.
At their new home
Darshan
After Vidaai, the couple first visits a temple, preferably that of Lord Rama and Sita, to seek their blessing from where they move towards the groom's house.
[edit] Dwar-Rokai
After leaving the groom's father-in-law's house, the couple come home. They are stopped at the entrance of the house by either the groom's sister or his father's sister. There, in an earthen vessel, the sister/aunt uses a mixture of salt and water to ward off evil spirits from the groom. After this, the pot is thrown on the ground and destroyed. The couple then enter the house.
Griha Pravesh
When the bride arrives at her new home, her mother-in-law welcomes her with the traditional Aarti. At the entrance, she puts her right foot onto a tray of vermilion powder mixed in water or milk, symbolizing the arrival of good fortune and purity. With both her feet now covered in the red powder paste, she kicks over a vessel filled with rice and coins to denote the arrival of fertility and wealth in her marital home.
Mooh Dikhai
The family now indulges in a series of games and post-wedding rituals, amid much laughter to make the new member feel comfortable. One such ritual is the Mooh dikhai. Literally translated, Mooh Dikhai means "show your face"; this ritual helps introduce the newlywed to members of her husband's family. Each member of the groom's family comes in turn to make an acquaintance with the new bride.
Pheri
In some regions of North India, the couple returns (unaccompanied by the groom's family) to the bride's parents' home the day after the wedding, usually for an afternoon meal and evening tea. The groom is introduced to the bride's side of the extended family and her friends. In the period between the engagement and the wedding, it is usually considered bad luck for the groom to visit the bride's house, so the pheri (literally, return or turning-around; distinct from phere) marks the beginning of the groom's social integration into the bride's side of the family.
[edit] Modern Hindu weddings
A mandap during a Hindu wedding ceremony
Modern Hindu weddings are often much shorter and do not involve all of the rituals of the traditional ceremony, which sometimes go on for five days. Instead certain ceremonies are picked by the families of the bride and the groom depending on their family tradition, caste, jāti etc. Hence the ceremonies vary among the various ethnic groups that practice Hinduism. The wedding is normally conducted under a wedding mandap, a canopy traditionally with four pillars, and an important component of the ceremony is the sacred fire (Agni) that is witness to the ceremony. Sometimes, the bride comes to her husband's house in a doli which is a palanquin traditionally made of wood and decorated with jewels. Before the wedding party departs to the Hindu temple, the priest will sometimes place a coconut under the tire. In the old days a horse-drawn carriage was used to carry the bride and groom, and the breaking of the coconut demonstrated the road-worthiness of the horse-drawn carriage.
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. By the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 passed by the Union Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are considered as Hindus for the purpose of the Act and can hence intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a non-Hindu employing any ceremony provided certain legal conditions are fulfilled.
The pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or oral agreement and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession. The post-wedding ceremonies involve welcoming the bride to her new home.
Just as Hinduism is hard to grasp and contrast against the newer, book-defined, structured religions such as Christianity and Islam, India's prevalent wedding traditions are also hard to categorize purely on a religious basis.
Despite modern Hinduism being largely based on the puja form of the worship of devas as enshrined in the Puranas, a Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna (a fire-sacrifice), in which the Aryan deities are invoked in the Indo-Aryan style. It has a deep origin in the ancient ceremony of cementing the bonds of friendship/alliance (even among people of the same sex or people of different species in mythological contexts), although today, it only survives in the context of weddings. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, and by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is deemed complete unless in the presence of the Sacred Fire, seven encirclements have been made around it by the bride and the groom together.
The ancient system of Hindu/Vedic marriages did not differentiate between male and female, as is done in modern times.
* The basis for a fulfilling and happy life
Te santu jard—istayah sampriyau royisnu sumansyamanau|
Pasyema sharadah shatam jivema sharadah shatam shrunuyam shardah shatam||
“We should be able to live a graceful life that is full of mutual love and warmth. Our sentiments should be auspicious.
We should be able to see for a hundred years, live a healthy life of a hundred years and listen the music of spring for a hundred years.”
The sage of the above mentioned vedic — aca, has emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife. Thus, marriage is not for self-indulgence, but rather should be considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an
opportunity for two people to grow from life partners into soul mates
Main rituals
All of the rituals vary based on family traditions. The names of the rituals also vary depending on the area the ritual is performed like south or north India. Especially the rituals are very different from south India to north India.
Prior to marriage
Conducted at the homes of the parents of the bride and the groom.
Engagement
in front of the community members to marry their son and daughter, sometimes using a document. Both families will also come to an agreement about the date of the wedding. Both will talk about their families and some details of the wedding or engagement. In Tamil it is called neechiyum, meaning the "confirmation" of both parties agreed without any objection.
Barni Bandhwana
Approximately 15 days prior to the actual wedding, on an auspicious day, the pundit will perform a puja to Lord Ganesh (the remover of obstacles). During this puja, a piece of mauli (thread) is tied to the hands of the groom, and his parents. This puja is done to humbly request that the wedding happen without any problems, apart from the occasional trivial mishaps.
Mayara
The mayara is an important ceremony, common to both the bride's and the groom's families. This ceremony is performed by the maternal uncle of the groom/bride, who, along with his wife and family, arrives with much fanfare, and is received by the bride/groom's mother with the traditional welcome.Mayara arrange by relative of mother's family, mostly brother(s) of mom.
Sangeet Sandhya
The sangeet sandhya is an evening of musical entertainment. This event takes place 2 or 3 days before a wedding in a Banquet Hall or if a small affair, then at home. The bride's family puts on a show for the groom and bride.
Tilak Ceremony
Tilak is a mark of auspiciousness. It is put on the forehead using Kumkum, a red turmeric powder. The male members of the bride's family, like her father, brother, uncles place a tilak on the forehead of the groom.
Mehendi Lagwana
Another name for "Vivaah" is "haath pila karna" or simply translated, making hands yellow. Mehendi (henna) is applied to the bride’s hands and feet. In the right hand, a round spot is left open for Hathlewa.
During marriage festivities
Barat Nikasi
[[File:A wedding procession with the bridegroom on a horse, Pushkar, The groom leaves for the wedding venue riding a decorated horse or elephant. This is a very colorful and grand ceremony. The groom is dressed in a sherwani (long jacket) and churidars (fitted trousers). On his head he wears a sehra (turban).
Before he departs, his relatives apply the ceremonial tilak on his forehead and his sister feeds the horse or elephant sweetened grain. The baraat (consisting of the groom seated on the horse or elephant, and relatives and friends of the groom) is headed by the dancing of the congregated folks.
Upon arriving at the venue of the wedding, the groom is welcomed by a welcome song called talota. Then the groom knocks on the door with his sword and enters.
Var Mala/Jai Mala
In most Hindu weddings, the groom is led to a small stage, known as mandap, where he is greeted by the bride's family. The maternal uncle, brother or brides' best friends bring the bride to the stage. The bride and the groom are handed the garlands while the priest is chanting the religious hymns. Following this, the groom and bride exchange garlands, which are the var mala or jai mala, signifying their acceptance of each other as husband and wife. Then, the groom's mother-in-law measures the groom's chest, and pokes and prods him to make sure he is tough enough to defend her daughter. She then puts kajal on the groom to ward off evil spirits. Before the exchange of the Var malas the bride and groom stand opposite to each other separated by a long piece of cloth known as antarpat. The mangalashtakas are recited and then the antarpat is removed and the bride and groom garland each other. This is the most auspicious and important ceremony and takes place on a muhurta(auspicious timing) decided by the vedic calendar known as Panchang.
Aarti
The baraatis (groom's party) are received by the bride's family and at the entrance to the wedding venue. The bride's mother welcomes the groom by performing the aarti (traditional Indian welcome ritual with a lamp or diya placed on a platter or thali) to welcome her son-in-law and places a tilak on his forehead
Baasi-Jawari
This event takes place the day of the wedding. The bride's sisters hide the groom's shoes and ask for money if he (groom) wants them back and be able to go home with the bride.
Kanya Daan
Kanya Daan, which means the giving away of one's daughter, has been derived from the Sanskrit words Kanya which means virgin girl and Daan which means donation. Kanya Daan is a very significant ritual performed by the father of the bride in presence of a large gathering that is invited to witness the wedding. The father pours out libation of sacred water symbolizing the giving away of his daughter to the bride groom. The groom recites Vedic hymns to Kama, the god of love, for pure love and blessings. The bride's sisters then steal the groom's shoes and ask for money for their return. This is a sign of the groom's loyalty.
As a condition for offering his daughter for marriage, the father of the bride requests a promise from the groom for assisting the bride in realizing the three ends:
# dharma,
# artha,
# and kama.
The groom makes the promise by repeating three times that he will not fail the bride in realizing dharma, artha and kama.
Ideally, the parents of the bride place the right hand of the bride over the right hand of the groom and place their own left hands at the bottom and the right hands (the two of them) on top, securing the Conch with gold, betel nut, flowers and a little fruit (in it) placed in bride's hand. It is at this point that the purpose of the Kanyadaan is clearly stated per scripture and the names of the parents and forefathers are stated from both sides. The wedding cannot legally proceed without this Kanyadaan step in which parents of the bride agree to the wedding.
In a Hindu wedding, the bride and groom marry each other and the priest only assists with the Mantra. He cannot declare them married as no authority is vested in him to do so. Agni, gods and the invited members of the family and friends are the witness. This ritual reveals that Wife is the form (avatar) and source of Purushardhas like Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha. This ritual also helps the bridegroom to think that his wife is the most valuable gift given by God himself, and helps the bride to think that her husband is a form of god himself. However widows and divorced women are not eligible for Kanya Daan ritual.
Panigrahana Hathlewa
After being led to the wedding mandup, the bride and groom have their hands tied together. The priest does a puja to Lord Ganesh and then puts a coin & mehendi on the bride's right hand where the round empty spot is (where no mehendi was put) and ties his hand with the brides. This puja is done schedule in advance based on an auspicious time & date.
gathabandhan
In this ritual the priest ties a knot using the ends of the clothing worn by the bride and groom. The priest ties the end of the groom's dhoti or kurta, whichever he is wearing, with that of the bride's saree; the knot signifies the sacred wedlock.
Laja Homa
The ritual connotes the actual core wedding ceremony, for the very meaning of the word vivaah is "marriage".[citation needed] The groom and the bride then circle the holy fire seven times, making seven promises to be fulfilled in the married life, after which they are considered to be married to each other. This ritual is called phere. Traditionally, there were three pheras. But now this has been mixed with saptapadi and now seven pheras are done for each vachan. In the south, most of the non-brahmin communities perform only three pheras, holding hands.
Saptapadi
Main article: Saptapadi
A Hindu bride shortly after the saptapdi ceremony
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet, c.f. Latin cognates septem+pedes) or the saat pheras is perhaps the most important component of Vedic Hindu weddings. The couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make each other.[4] In some regions, sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand.[4] Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom.[5] In Central India, the bride leads the first three or four circuits.[4] With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
* To provide for food always.
* To give you excellent health and energy.
* Todained in Vedas, during your life time.
* To give you happiness in life.
* To make your cows and good animals grow in strength and in numbers.
* To make all the seasons be beneficial to you.
* To make the homams (sacrifices to be done in Holy Fire) to be performed by you in your life as ordained in Vedas, successful and free from hindrances.
A joint vow is usually made at the end of the seven steps, which varies by region. A typical vow is:
After crossing seven steps with me thus, you should become my friend. I too have become your friend now. I will never discard this friendship and you should also not do that. Let us be together always. Let us resolve to do things in life in the same manner and tread the same path. Let us lead a life by liking and loving each other, having good hearts and thoughts, and enjoying the food and our strong points together. Let us have undivided opinions. We will perform the vrithas united. Let us have same and joint desires. I will be Sama (one of the vedas); you will be Rig (another Veda). Let me be the Heaven; you be the Earth. Let me be the Shukla (Moon) and you be its wearer. Let me be the mind and you its spokesman (Vak). With these qualities, you be my follower. You the sweet tongued, come to me to get good children and wealth.
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our unions be permanently settled.
Vidaai
A bride bids her family farewell at the end of the wedding ceremony.
Also called rukhsati in North India. This is considered to be the most emotional ritual, when the bride leaves her parents' home and makes her way to her husband's. Family and friends, who also shower her with blessings and gifts, give her a tearful farewell. The male members of the bride's family bid farewell to the groom by applying the traditional tilak (vermilion) to his forehead and showering him with gifts.
In earlier times the bride use to leave in a palanquin. Today, most newleyweds leave in a car.
At their new home
Darshan
After Vidaai, the couple first visits a temple, preferably that of Lord Rama and Sita, to seek their blessing from where they move towards the groom's house.
[edit] Dwar-Rokai
After leaving the groom's father-in-law's house, the couple come home. They are stopped at the entrance of the house by either the groom's sister or his father's sister. There, in an earthen vessel, the sister/aunt uses a mixture of salt and water to ward off evil spirits from the groom. After this, the pot is thrown on the ground and destroyed. The couple then enter the house.
Griha Pravesh
When the bride arrives at her new home, her mother-in-law welcomes her with the traditional Aarti. At the entrance, she puts her right foot onto a tray of vermilion powder mixed in water or milk, symbolizing the arrival of good fortune and purity. With both her feet now covered in the red powder paste, she kicks over a vessel filled with rice and coins to denote the arrival of fertility and wealth in her marital home.
Mooh Dikhai
The family now indulges in a series of games and post-wedding rituals, amid much laughter to make the new member feel comfortable. One such ritual is the Mooh dikhai. Literally translated, Mooh Dikhai means "show your face"; this ritual helps introduce the newlywed to members of her husband's family. Each member of the groom's family comes in turn to make an acquaintance with the new bride.
Pheri
In some regions of North India, the couple returns (unaccompanied by the groom's family) to the bride's parents' home the day after the wedding, usually for an afternoon meal and evening tea. The groom is introduced to the bride's side of the extended family and her friends. In the period between the engagement and the wedding, it is usually considered bad luck for the groom to visit the bride's house, so the pheri (literally, return or turning-around; distinct from phere) marks the beginning of the groom's social integration into the bride's side of the family.
[edit] Modern Hindu weddings
A mandap during a Hindu wedding ceremony
Modern Hindu weddings are often much shorter and do not involve all of the rituals of the traditional ceremony, which sometimes go on for five days. Instead certain ceremonies are picked by the families of the bride and the groom depending on their family tradition, caste, jāti etc. Hence the ceremonies vary among the various ethnic groups that practice Hinduism. The wedding is normally conducted under a wedding mandap, a canopy traditionally with four pillars, and an important component of the ceremony is the sacred fire (Agni) that is witness to the ceremony. Sometimes, the bride comes to her husband's house in a doli which is a palanquin traditionally made of wood and decorated with jewels. Before the wedding party departs to the Hindu temple, the priest will sometimes place a coconut under the tire. In the old days a horse-drawn carriage was used to carry the bride and groom, and the breaking of the coconut demonstrated the road-worthiness of the horse-drawn carriage.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Win the Scorpio Woman
First Few Dates
Scorpio women are hard-to-know at first, but they also love meeting people who intrigue them. Your best shot at wooing the enigmatic Scorpio woman is to be fascinating to her love of mystery and power. She's not going to stick around too long if you play up your insecurities. She also wants to discover who you are, not have it handed to her on a platter. She's drawn to those with traits of determination, ambition, sexual confidence, profound spirituality and self-control.
Don't Tell All:
It's a known dating faux pas not to run down your dating history, especially if you're tempted to present it in a "loser" light. That goes double when on a date with the Scorpio woman. The Scorpio woman may even be horrified at your spilling of sexual secrets, since it's a sign of how you'd treat a relationship with her. She wants a discreet man who won't betray her secrets to others. So on a first date, you might want to:
* Keep the conversation on neutral, but very interesting topics.
* Tell her about your accomplishments.
* Wear a subtle, but musk-y cologne.
* Watch her eyes for clues to her interest.
Playing with Fire
The Scorpio woman is a mesmerizer who enjoys playing with her sexual power. It's best to avoid coming on too strong or too soon. Let there be space there for her desire to grow, and intensified with sensual looks and touches. She responds to a subtle 'slow hand' lover, over one that acts on impulse.
A big issue for Scorpio women is respect. They are all-or-nothing when it comes to giving themselves. So they want to know a man can handle their passion, and won't bail if it gets intense. That's why a slow build, where trust is the foundation, is better than taking chances of getting hurt. She responds to gestures of devotion, but not ones that are sentimental or cutesy.
You've Got Her Back
A Scorpio woman can be serious, and doesn't liked to be teased when she's wrestling with something heavy. She responds well to someone that respects her inner needs, and that there are times to go deep. If you understand the ebb and flow, you can give her the space she needs to work it out.
Scorpio women are focused do-ers, and often have a very pragmatic view of life. They may see into the layers of a situation psychically, but they are grounded in realities. They admire men who are also determined, productive, and don't waste their natural talents. In other words, they like men who've got it going on.
Fixed Water and Fixed Water
There's an undeniable pull between two Scorpios, each being so magnetic on their own. The promise of emotional depth and soul-level understanding shine out of their eyes. Their romance is a dance of going ever deeper into the mystery of the other. The conversation on dates quickly goes below the surface, and is full of sexual innuendo. Being the object of another Scorpio's lusty gaze sets fire to libidos, and before long, they're in the sack fulltime. Finally, they've found a lover that surrenders body and soul to the moment.
As the relationship progresses, they grow more entwined and devoted. The Scorpio sonar sees into private places, and extreme care is needed to be a soul laid bare at that level. To navigate the extreme highs and lows of this pairing, the issue of trust is huge. The love is total and entrenched, and the rest of the emotional spectrum is just as enveloping. Little arguments can spiral out of control, and soon they're a tempestuous duo. Friends fear for them when in fight mode, but they often find it cathartic, or even a turn on. It's only when the basic commitment is threatened that things go so wrong.
Scorpio is naturally jealous (and sometime paranoid), and they'll need mutual reassurance of monogamy. Betrayal of any kind is the death knell for the Scorpio couple, and the writhing demise is often a long, drawn-out, embittering affair. It may be hard to separate, keeping them locked in and fighting as exes. Or they keep going on and on in a relationship that's making them miserable. Having merged on every level, it's hard to say good-bye.
The Scorpio couple gets eachother in a way nobody else can. They can draw out the hidden gifts, and be supportive in just the right way. Sex can be where they renew the bond, and feel as close as two people can. With one look, they communicate volumes. They engage the poetic romantic soul in the other, and allow those defenses to come down. Two Scorpios create a tender, edgy, brutal, soulful love atmosphere, with the relationship becoming an entity as enigmatic as they are. Unless the waters grow too tainted, it's one that's made to last.
Zodiac sign Scorpio Love Compatibility
Scorpio and Leo love compatibility
There will be an instant mutual sexual attraction, equal in force between them. But Leo finds it hard to cope with Scorpio's jealousy and possessiveness. Intense, smoldering Scorpio is on a too short fuse, while Leo is much more buoyant. These two very strong willed individuals generally create some rather stormy moments. Generally in such relationships there will be no "romanticism", but these two are capable of sensual loving and good, long partnership.
Scorpio and Aries love compatibility
The sex can turn out to be either stimulating or useless. There are two directions for the events to develop. Both the Aries, and the Scorpio possess a large amount of physical energy. They are both inclined to act. On the other hand, they are both independent and do not like being controlled. Long-term disagreements may destroy their phenomenal ability to share passion of and with each other. Usually this is an unstable partnership with a low ignition point.
Scorpio and Cancer love compatibility
Masterful Scorpio should make a good mate for quiet spoken Cancer. The Scorpio's force and his/her needs to dominate and protect is just what the Cancer is longing for. Cancer's possessiveness will actually make Scorpio feel secure. Cancer admires Scorpio's strength while Scorpio finds a haven in Cancer's emotional commitment. The Cancer is more sensitive about sexual relations, while the Scorpio is more passionate. The Cancer's desire to please helps avoid many problems in this area. The the Scorpio's furious jealousy does not arise, since the Cancer is devoted to the partner. The love will be growing, and this passionate connection can develop in a perfect marriage.
Scorpio and Libra love compatibility
Scorpio is too jealous for the careless Libra. His/her well known jealousy does not let him/her stay calm and wise. The Virgo's carelessness concerning sex results in a quarrel. These problems can end up by driving Libra into an affair with someone else who does not make him/her feel restricted in any way. Scorpio is not the forgiving type and any infidelity will never be forgotten by this sign, and any taking back after this happens will be to get revenge on Libra for his/her act. Scorpio should dominate while Libra - submit. There is a strong mutual attraction between them , but this can lead to an explosion. This is a passionate rough connection and the marriage is not recomended.
Scorpio and Taurus love compatibility
With a strong sexual urge both will find much in common. They are both equally active in sexual affairs. None of them needs to cheat on each other. On the other hand both are very jealous and stubborn. The difference between these two is that Taurus wants to own a lover, like a valuable object, and Scorpio tries to possess in an emotional sense. Taurus can be obstinate in his irritation and Scorpio can be dangerous if he/she is angry. So, this affair is complete of the problems, and marriage is possible only if both of them are very tolerant and intelligent people.
Scorpio and Capricorn love compatibility
This union means successful sexual mutual relationships. Scorpio is the more imaginative lover, but Capricorn's stamina is a delightful match. Scorpio's possessiveness spells security to Capricorn. These two work well as a team - Capricorn is highly organized and Scorpio has native shrewdness. The Scorpio is more inventive, while the Capricorn is more patient. Their success in bedroom opens some interesting opportunities. The representatives of both signs have strong will, but the Scorpio is inclined to dominate. The Capricorn must understand, that it happens because of the Scorpio's great love. The connection is usually passionate and marriages are successful.
Scorpio and Gemini love compatibility
Gemini's imagination and Scorpio's dynamism can make a good combination if only these two are able to get along together. They are close in the sexual relationships, but that is not enough. Gemini is the type who tries to live a full, busy life but not so with Scorpio, as Scorpio is more centered on the idea of self improvement. Scorpio is sensual, passionate, demanding, jealous, inflexible. Gemini is fickle, flighty, superficial, lighthearted, changeable. Gemini is a social creature, Scorpio likes privacy. The representatives of Gemini'sign take everything too easy for the Scorpio. The Scorpio is purposeful while the Gemini are always doubting. It will probably be a kind of relationships that is not easy to cope with with difficult marriage as a result.
Scorpio and Virgo love compatibility
Their interests are the same in many areas, but they are too different when it refers to the sexual sphere. It is difficult for them to establish good relationships. Virgo can become captious. Restrained Virgo has trouble keeping up with highly demonstrative Scorpio and doesn't understand what all the fuss and bother is about. Scorpio can fly into jealous rages for no reason, even if Virgo has proved to be a faithful mate, and the general Scorpio views are hard for Virgo to take or agree with for Virgo always sees the other side of the situation and the other persons point of view. In other words Scorpio can be roughly frank. The spiritual affinity is possible for some time, and then Scorpio will probably begin to search for new sexual partners. Friendship may be the best idea here.
Scorpio and Scorpio love compatibility
These two are capable to light the fire even in the water. The problem is that they are too similar. They are both resolute, both are proprietors, and both have awful characters. They are highly jealous and demanding. They are so intense that every little storm quickly becomes a hurricane. Both are sulky, brooding, possessive. Both are in a continual struggle to force the other to relinquish control. If they have different opinions about something, it may result in big cracks in their relationship, and as a result the mutual understanding between them will evaporate. Their connection can not last long outside a warm atmosphere of the bedroom. The connection is extraordinary. The marriage is a real disaster!
Scorpio and Sagittarius love compatibility
Scorpio is dominant by nature, but he/she will have trouble keeping their Sagittarius partner under control. Scorpio loves his/her house while the Sagittarius' suitcase is always ready to be taken to a journey. The freedom is necessary for Sagittarius . Sagittarlus's far-roaming interests constantly make Scorpio jealous. Romantically, this is a volatile combination. Sagittarius is playful about sex and finds Scorpio's intense, dominating passions too much to cope with. Soon Sagittarius's inclination is to fly. Their mutual attraction is explained by sex and can not last for a long time. A one night's affair - yes; a marriage -NO.
Scorpio and Aquarius love compatibility
This combination usually ends up getting into unpleasant terms after a little time. Fueled by Scorpio's volatility and Aquarius's imaginativeness, sex is quite out of the ordinary. But Aquarius is turned off by Scorpio's powerful and jealous passions, and Scorpio is upset by Aquarius's unpredictable moods. Aquarius constantly participates in numerous public affairs. Scorpio can't bend the Aquarius to his/ her will, because of Aquarius' love of freedom. The Aquarius is extremely sociable. The Scorpio is reserved. The happiness in bed will not help this couple to be happy together. Let everyone go their own way.
Scorpio and Pisces love compatibility
This may be a love at first sight combination. There is a strong mutual attraction between them. Pisces are ready to rely on Scorpio to compensate their indecision, and will agree with the Scorpio's aspiration to dominate. Scorplo's jealousy and possessiveness won't bother Pisces-in fact, it makes Pisces feel loved. Pisces's dependency is just what Scorpio is looking for. These two share a special communion, much of it on a sensual, unspoken level. Both have intense feelings, are loyal, intuitive, interested in the mystical and the unusual. Their sexual life should be delightful. The Pisces are inventive. The Scorpio is persevering. Both - affair and marriage are successful.
Scorpio Scorpio Compatibility
The relationship between two Scorpio individuals will be a bitter-sweet one. They have the same positive qualities and they share the same negative traits. This love match is bound to have lots of intensity, as neither the individuals is prone to enter into a relationship with shallow feelings. There will be lots and lots of romance in this zodiac match and it could easily result in long-term commitment and marriage. Both of them are extremely passionate about everything in their life and this includes their partner too.
Possessiveness and jealousy are the characteristics traits of the Scorpion and he cannot tolerate sharing something or someone he considers his. Whenever he becomes involved in a relationship, he becomes emotionally much attached, though it may take some time for his partner to realize this. His love is never something that he takes lightly. The compatibility problem with this love match will be that both the individuals are very stubborn and can be very difficult to persuade, especially after they have made up their mind.
If, at such a time, neither of them bends down a little, the clash can turn into something very serious and can even endanger the zodiac match. There may be stormy fights every now and then, but then, the reunions will be just as sizzling too. The love of a Scorpio has as much ardor as his hate. He cannot simply love or hate. He has to love passionate and hate fiercely. The relationship between two Scorpios will either be profoundly fulfilling or extremely devastating. There is no middle ground for these individuals.
Their chemistry will be totally endearing and their union will comprise of strong feelings, desires and emotions. Neither of them is satisfied with moderation in anything, they need to feel extreme emotions all the time. Both of them are extremely dependable and there will never ever be any complaint on the loyalty front. They will love each other, protect each other and fight for each other. However, there may be some problems as far as the long-term compatibility is concerned. But, none of them is so great as to not be cured by conscious efforts.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Scorpio and Taurus sexual compatibility
Scorpio and Taurus:
Taurus is the opposite sign of Scorpio in the zodiac. These two signs can produce power, money and families together. A minor flirtation will become major over time and could lead to marriage.
There is physical attraction and plenty of sensuality when these two hook up. Taurus finds Scorpio possessiveness very attractive. Scorpio demands loyalty from love relationship. So does Taurus. This is a rewarding combination that has both long and short term potential. Sex can transform them and love may take them by surprise.
Taurus is a sexual keeper and Scorpio should make sure they don’t let this sexy sign get away. Go slow in sex but fast with courtship. If Taurus lets Scorpio get away or vice versa, both could live to regret it.
Compatibility Rating: Sexual Astrology - Love & Romance Compatibility HoroscopeSexual Astrology - Love & Romance Compatibility HoroscopeSexual Astrology - Love & Romance Compatibility HoroscopeSexual Astrology - Love & Romance Compatibility Horoscope
Note: Your compatibility with other signs of the zodiac also depends on your planets, rising signs and other aspects!
Taurus is the opposite sign of Scorpio in the zodiac. These two signs can produce power, money and families together. A minor flirtation will become major over time and could lead to marriage.
There is physical attraction and plenty of sensuality when these two hook up. Taurus finds Scorpio possessiveness very attractive. Scorpio demands loyalty from love relationship. So does Taurus. This is a rewarding combination that has both long and short term potential. Sex can transform them and love may take them by surprise.
Taurus is a sexual keeper and Scorpio should make sure they don’t let this sexy sign get away. Go slow in sex but fast with courtship. If Taurus lets Scorpio get away or vice versa, both could live to regret it.
Compatibility Rating: Sexual Astrology - Love & Romance Compatibility HoroscopeSexual Astrology - Love & Romance Compatibility HoroscopeSexual Astrology - Love & Romance Compatibility HoroscopeSexual Astrology - Love & Romance Compatibility Horoscope
Note: Your compatibility with other signs of the zodiac also depends on your planets, rising signs and other aspects!
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