Cure for baldness

Cure For Baldness Baldness is the partial or complete lack of hair. Balding is part of the wider topic of “hair thinning”. The degree and pattern of baldness can vary greatly, but its most common cause is female and male pattern baldness, also known as androgenic alopecia, alopecia androgenetica or alopecia seborrheica. More than 95% of hair thinning in men is male pattern baldness,or androgenic alopecia. Male pattern baldness is characterized by hair receding from the lateral sides of the forehead or a thinning crown . Both become more pronounced until they eventually meet, leaving a horseshoe-shaped ring of hair around the back of the head. The incidence of pattern baldness varies from population to population based on genetic background. Environmental factors do not seem to affect this type of baldness greatly. One large scale study in Maryborough, Victoria, Australia showed the prevalence of mid-frontal baldness increases with age and affects 73.5 percent of men and 57 percent of women aged 80 and over. A rough rule of thumb is that the incidence of baldness in males corresponds to chronological age. For example, according to Medem Medical Library’s website, male pattern baldness (MPB) affects roughly 40 million men in the United States. Approximately 25 percent of men begin balding by age 30; two-thirds begin balding by age 60. How To Prevent Male Baldness Although there are some instances in which hair loss can easily be prevented, there are other times when it may be challenging. If male baldness runs in the family, it is likely due to a genetic cause. However, there are some steps which can be taken to prevent hair loss. 1. Follow a well-balanced diet.It is important to make sure that you are getting enough vitamins, proteins, and other essential nutrients. Taking a daily multi-vitamin can help Prevent Male Baldness。 2. Have a physical examination. Visit a doctor to find out if any medical problems or medications could be causing hair loss. Lupus and medications for acne, bipolar disorder, and diet pills can all be medical causes of male hair loss. 3. Reduce stress levels. Stress is known to be one of the main factors which leads to male baldness. Meditate, go to the spa for the day, or listen to relaxing movie if you are feeling overly stressed. 4. Take care of your hair. It is recommended for men who are experiencing hair loss to use baby shampoo, as it is gentler on the hair. Avoid lathering too vigorously, and also be gentle when toweling the hair dry. 5. Avoid using hot styling tools. If you are a man who has longer hair, be sure to avoid using a blow dryer or flat iron to style the hair. It is also ideal to avoid coloring the hair, as this can cause further damage to the hair. How To Cure Baldness Understand how male pattern baldness works. This particular kind of hair loss is related to levels of free (unbound, circulating) testosterone, which gets converted into dihydrotestosterone (DHT). Some men, because of their genetics, have hair follicles that respond to DHT by shrinking. In order to combat male hair loss on a biological level, you can: Cure for baldness 1. lower the level of free testosterone in your body (which is not the same as the level of total testosterone) Cure for baldness 2. prevent free testosterone from being converted into DHT Male Pattern Baldness Cure Provillus baldness cure for Men, marketed by Provillus Corporation, is a trusted team member of Natural Products Association with more than 8 years in the health and beauty care business delivering only the best value products for its customers worldwide. The product has been formulated with a blend of natural botanicals with a 2-pronged approach in male pattern baldness cure or Androgenetic Alopecia. Provillus for Men ingredients have been clinically proven to baldness cure. Male Pattern Baldness (MPB) is a genetic trait. It’s called Androgenetic Alopecia. It’s inherited from your family. If the men in your family are showing a bald spot on the crown, it’s likely you will too. Provillus can’t change your genetic history, but it can help with the hormonal causes with its Minoxidil-infused formula that gets to the root of your hair loss problem.

Onion Mask for Hair Growth

For treating unsightly blemishes like pimples or rejuvenating your skin's glow, you use a facial mask. The mask should be applied all over the face or just certain areas, left on for sometime and then washed off. Similarly one can use a mask for treating the hair. A hair mask is a thick mixture of various ingredients, that can be applied to the hair surface and/or the scalp. This restorative product can have multiple benefits and effects on hair, like giving it a glow or shine, making it soft or reducing dandruff and other hair infection problems. Applying a hair mask used to be a luxury beauty ritual, reserved for exclusive spas and beauty salons but nowadays beauty product brands like Neutrogena, Herbal Essences and L'Oreal, to name a few, offer a hair mask mixture as part of their hair products range. But the best thing about hair masks is that they can be easily made at home, provided you have the right ingredients. One such homemade hair mask is an onion hair mask. A hair mask with onion as the key ingredient, can restore the ability of regrowth to your hair. Thin scanty hair or repeated hair fall can be reduced greatly or stopped completely with the application of an onion mask. This type of mask also reduces dandruff and provides a nice, shiny and glossy look to the hair.

How to Make an Onion Mask for the Hair For any onion hair mask recipe, a certain quantity of onion juice is required. To obtain onion juice from an onion, you can grate the onion and grind or mash the grated onion through a sheet of gauze, so that the juice is strained out. Instead of grating, you can cut the onion finely, blend it for sometime and then strain the blended mixture through a sieve cloth to obtain the juice. Mask Recipe #1 Obtain 1 onion's juice and mix it with olive oil or coconut oil in equal parts. Apply the mixture to the scalp slowly. Then apply the mixture over your hair. Cover your head with a shower cap, so the mixture is not disturbed in any case. Leave the mixture on for 2 hours. Your scalp should be dry. Then take a shower and rinse away the mixture with shampoo. You may need to apply shampoo twice to get rid of the stickiness. Use this mask twice a month for best results. Mask Recipe #2 You will need the juice from 3 onions and some alum. Mix the crushed alum and onion juice well. Use a cotton pad to apply this mixture to the scalp. Comb your hair and wrap it in a towel. Leave the mixture on overnight. Then rinse your hair in the morning with hot water. Mask Recipe #3 Mix 1 teaspoon of sugar, 2-3 teaspoons of any alcoholic spirit and 3 teaspoons of onion juice. Add a little yeast and a few drops of water to this mix. Then mix all the ingredients well and apply the mixture to your hair. Leave it on your scalp for 45 minutes and then rinse the mixture off. Once again shampoo twice. Mask Recipe #4 3 tablespoons of grated onion should be mixed with 1 tablespoon of honey. Wash your hair with shampoo. Apply the mask to your scalp. Leave it on for 40 minutes, then rinse off with warm water. Do not shampoo afterward. Mask Recipe #5 You will need 1 part brandy, 4 parts of onion juice and 6 parts of roots of burdock concoction. Mix these ingredients well. Apply it to your scalp. Leave it on for 2 hours and then rinse it off. This mask can be used 2-3 times a week. Another onion-for-the-hair idea is to create your own onion shampoo. Add chopped pieces of onion to your shampoo. Let this shampoo mix stand for 15 days and then use the shampoo. An onion hair mask, unlike some other types of hair mask, makes use of an easily available ingredient (an onion) along with a few standard kitchen items. So it is convenient and cheap to make and use. So avoid the spa for treating your hair and create a hair mask using an onion for your next hair pampering day! Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/how-to-make-an-onion-hair-mask.html

Érotisme et sensualité dans le séga : Doit-on censurer ?

Le séga est-il érotique? La danse du séga est-elle sensuelle ? Est-ce que par moments ses paroles évoquent-elles des phantasmes sexuels ? Toutes ces questions sont pertinentes lorsqu’on sait que certains compositeurs-interprètes couchent parfois des mots qui suggèrent des gestes sexuels, des attouchements interdits, ou lorsque certaines danseuses, une très infime minorité, revêtent des costumes très suggestives. Dans le reportage qui suit, nous avons donné la parole à certains compositeurs qui s’expriment sur ces questions.

Il y a une quarantaine d’années, le pourtant talentueux Coulouce secouait le landernau du séga avec deux titres aux paroles très évocatrices. Sur une musique presque binaire et contre toute attente, il sortait coup sur coup, ‘sega socola’ et ‘sega goblet’. Les deux morceaux, frappés d’une censure au lendemain de leurs parutions, avaient défrayé la chronique et invité les âmes puritaines à cause de son côté paillard. Que chantait Coulouce ?

Qu’il avait l’envie de mettre la main au ‘chocolat’. Que sa dame avait des ‘bels chouchous’ et de ‘longs longs piquants’. Dans le deuxième morceau, il en rajoutait une couche : Il avait envie de ‘trappe so sou… soulier.’ Et Elle, ‘li trappe mo go… gobelet’.

Il ne fallait pas être grand clerc d'avoué pour décoder les propos de Coulouce, à la grande joie des collégiens et du sourire biaisé des dames. Mais le ségatier n’avait fait que s’engouffrer dans une brèche déjà ouverte par le couple Roger et Marie-Josée Clency, eux-mêmes grands pourfendeurs du purisme. Au même moment, certains ségatiers comme pour faire écho à la parole libertine de leurs confrères, laissaient la voie libre aux déhanchements ultrasensuels de leurs danseuses durant les spectacles.

Est-ce à dire que cette permissivité était généralisée et acceptée par tous les artistes ? Est-ce que mimer l’acte sexuel durant la danse est inhérente au séga ?

Pour Serge Lebrasse, il ne faut pas tomber dans l’amalgame. « Le séga était interdit durant l’esclavage, même dans des années plus proches de nous, les familles dites ‘bourgeoises’ interdisaient l’écoute ou la danse du séga. Sans doute à cause de l’utilisation de la langue créole. Mais, la simulation de l’acte sexuel n’a rien à voir avec le séga.

Durant des spectacles où plusieurs artistes se produisaient, certains d’entre eux, voulaient séduire les spectateurs en demandant à leurs danseuses de découvrir le haut de leurs jambes, voire leurs culottes. C’est comme ça qu’on a eu droit à cette perversion qui aurait pu projeter une image érotique du séga. À un moment donné, il y a eu surenchère de la part de certains ségatiers et on a fini par croire qu’il était normal que les filles soulèvent leurs jupes jusqu’aux cuisses.»

Artiste de réputation internationale, Mario Armel affirme qu’il a toujours exigé que ses danseuses portent des cuissards dès les années 70, au moment où sa popularité était à son apogée.

« Je voulais d’un costume léger mais jamais voyant comme en portaient certaines filles qui étaient encouragées par leurs patrons. J’avais remarqué que les filles qui dansaient le sega traditionnel, portaient des tonnes de tissus et que parfois ces vêtements ne leur permettaient pas une liberté de mouvement pour bien mettre en valeur certains morceaux rythmés.

Et comme je compose toujours avec en tête une chorégraphie précise et bien ordonnancée, je voyais toujours le genre de costumes que je souhaitais pour les danseuses. » Pour Mario Armel, il n’était pas question de promouvoir le séga, ou toute forme de musique mauricienne, en revêtant ses danseuses de jupettes qui s’envolaient au moindre tournoiement. «

C’est une exploitation d’abord de l’image de la femme et ensuite de certaines filles issues des quartiers pauvres. Une fois que vous avez leur adresse, que vous les avez encouragées et qu’elles se sont contentées de leur maigre cachet, il devient aisé de les réembaucher pour d’autres spectacles où elles n’hésiteront pas à montrer encore un peu plus.

Certes, le séga, selon le genre qu’on pratique, a un côté sensuel, de par les déhanchements des danseurs et danseuses, il peut éveiller des phantasmes, mais là n’est pas son but. » Où en est la tendance aujourd’hui et est-on plus scrupuleux quant à la chorégraphie et aux paroles ?

Il est pour le moins difficile de veiller à la tenue vestimentaire des danseuses. Les artistes, dans leur immense majorité, exigent de leurs ‘filles’ d’être correctes sur scène car elles engagent leur propre image, celle de la femme mauricienne et enfin, de l’industrie touristique mauricienne. Pourtant, il y a presque une dizaine d’années, se souvient Mario Armel, durant un spectacle à l'étranger, des danseuses mauriciennes n’avaient pas hésité à porter le string pour danser le séga.

« C’était une bien mauvaise image pour le séga, les filles mauriciennes et l’île Maurice. On pouvait penser que les filles mauriciennes sont légères et chaudes.»

Porte-drapeau de la chanson engagée, avec son frère Nitish, Ram Joganah estime que l’artiste est totalement responsable du comportement vestimentaire de ses danseuses. De son comportement professionnel, tout court. «Lorsque vous engagez des danseuses, quelque soit votre style de séga, c’est à vous l’artiste, l’auteur-compositeur, l’interprète ou l’animateur de leur donner des consignes et de les diriger. Sauf si elles sont des professionnelles jusqu’au bout des doigts, les novices, elles, doivent être gérées. Il faut constamment avoir l’œil sur la manière qu’elles dansent.

On ne peut pas se dire que c’est au spectateur de savoir de tenir, ou de se retenir dès qu’il voit apparaître des sous-vêtements. La danseuse est au service du morceau, elle ne peut pas s’en détacher pour donner libre cours à ses impulsions, même lorsque le public la pousse à bout et réclame plus. À ce moment, ce n’est plus du séga, on tombe dans le voyeurisme. Certaines filles ne s’imaginent pas tout le tort que ce type de comportement fait d’abord à elles-mêmes mais aussi au séga et à l’image de la femme. »

Pour Denis Gaspard, avant chaque représentation, il s’impose une vérification des affaires de ses danseuses. «Je veux voir qu’elles ont bien apporte des bas. Pour celle qui n’en a pas, soit elle ne danse pas, soit elle emprunte une paire à une collègue.

Mais pas question de se dandiner sans ces assortiments. Nous voulons donner du spectacle mais pas être en spectacle. Les filles ne viennent pas pour s’exhiber mais pour offrir le sourire et leur charme. Bien entendu, on ne pas danser le séga à tout âge et il y aussi un esthétisme corporel qui doit prévaloir. Tout le monde ne l’a pas. Ce sont des critères généraux et obligatoires qu’on retrouve partout dans le monde et nous ne pouvons y faire exception. Mais il y a des limites à ne pas dépasser sinon on verse dans l’exhibitionnisme et la vulgarité. »

Coulouce, Jean-Claude, Marie-Josée et Roger Clency et les autres
Personne n’est allée aussi loin que feu Coulouce avec ses deux ségas qui choquèrent la population dans les années 70. Qu’avait-il en tête lorsqu’il écrivit ses paroles paillardes, laissant aux auditeurs le soin de tirer les conclusions en diluant ses propos dans une terminologie anodine ?

L’auteur ne s’est jamais vraiment expliqué sur ses motivations, mais d’autres artistes, à l’instar de Serge Lebrasse, Mario Armel, Denis Gaspard (fils de Jean-Claude) ou Ram Joganah tentent de recentrer l’impact de ces deux morceaux. Serge Lebrasse lui y voyait une tentative de bousculer le train-train du séga, en y jouant de la provocation. Pour Denis Gaspard, il s’agit d’un jeu de mots, qui n’est pas pour les oreilles des innocents. « Je pense que ce type de séga est perçu selon la maturité des auditeurs.

Moi, je n’y verrai aucun problème à reprendre ces morceaux, mais pas devant tout le monde. En tout cas pas en présence de spectateurs venus en famille. » Ram Joganah tient lui un discours sans ambigüité. Le chanteur engagé y voit des paroles irresponsables plaqués sur trois accords et une tentative maladroite de choquer les esprits avec le bas de la ceinture. « Il n’est pas question pour moi de cautionner de tels propos, même si je n’appliquerais pas la guillotine à ces morceaux. À aucun moment et peu importe l’âge des spectateurs, je reprendrais ces chansons. Il est fondamentalement question de la responsabilité de l’artiste. »

Quand Marie-Josée demande à Roger Clency de ne pas toucher à son ‘zoué -zoué’, à quoi fait-elle allusion ? Jean-Claude, père de Denis Gaspard, est passé maître dans l’art du détournement du sens des mots. Il est capable de petites paillardises et des équivoques sans jamais tomber dans la vulgarité. Plusieurs de ses compositions donnent dans le parabole et renvoient à des mains baladeuses mais sans jamais avoir de signification explicite.

la sexualité chez les ados

Autrefois, il fallait, selon les us et les coutumes, attendre la nuit des noces pour avoir ses premières relations sexuelles. Aujourd’hui, au XXIe siècle, cette conception n’est plus la même. Si la sexualité est encore un sujet tabou au sein de certaines familles, elle ne l'est plus parmi les jeunes.

Encore immatures et inconscients des dangers et autres contraintes que cela constitue, ils franchissent ce cap sans état d'âme... pour connaître cette sensation ou pour faire comme les autres. On ne sait sur qui rejeter la faute : les parents, les autorités ou la modernisation ?

L’insouciance qui ternit l’image mauricienne
Comme partout ailleurs, la sexualité est devenue, chez nous, le sujet préféré des ados. Si l’âge autorisé pour avoir ses premières relations sexuelles est à 16 ans, certains petits Mauriciens ne patientent plus, avides de connaître cette sensation dès leur jeune âge.

Selon les autorités concernées, 109 et 126 jeunes en dessous de 16 ans ont eu des rapports sexuels dévoilés au grand jour en 2009 et 2010 respectivement. Reste à savoir le nombre de cas qui sont toujours dans l’ombre. Même si certaines personnes préfèrent se montrer indifférentes face à ce chiffre croissant, elles ne peuvent l’être toutefois face à une jeune fille de 14 ans qui tient le rôle principal dans un clip pornographique posté sur Facebook par son ex-petit copain, ou une mère qui oblige sa fille de 12 ans à se prostituer pour subvenir aux besoins familiaux.

Aussi, il faut noter que ce phénomène devient de plus en plus dégradant et ternit l’image de notre société. Cela, en raison de divers problèmes qui viennent s’y ajouter. L’année dernière, Le Défi Quotidien avait annoncé qu’une mère avait mortellement agressé sa fille pour avoir eu des relations sexuelles avec un homme de 23 ans. Avait-elle raison ou tort ? Une question qui reste subjective... Car, en dépit de tous les changements phénoménaux de notre vie, il reste encore cette minorité qui conserve des valeurs morales.

Mais aussi, la question incontournable à ce fait existant serait de comprendre ce changement d'attitude chez les jeunes concernant le sexe. On croirait presque que très peu d’entre eux parlent d’amour à ce jour et que le but ultime d'une relation c’est de goûter au plaisir de sexe. Quelle en est la cause ?

Le psychologue Sadasiven Coopoosamy, qui travaille avec beaucoup d’enfants, connaît bien la perception des jeunes sur le sexe. Selon les témoignages qu’il reçoit dans son cabinet, « le garçon revendique son droit d’avoir des relations sexuelles avant le mariage pour assurer une bonne performance sexuelle lors de celui-ci, et quant à la fille, elle ne pense plus à sa virginité, elle n’en voit pas l’utilité puisqu’il est fort probable que son époux aura déjà fait ses 400 coups avant la lune de miel. C'est la mentalité et le raisonnement de la majorité des ados à ce jour », ajoute-t-il.

De graves conséquences
De plus, Sadasiven Coopoosamy explique qu’avoir des relations en dessous de 16 ans est devenu presque inévitable à ce jour. Tous les facteurs sont réunis pour les inciter à emboîter ce pas. Les littératures érotiques et pornographiques, les publicités, les musiques aux paroles démesurées sont à leur portée. Il ajoute avec incompréhension que certains parents font l’amour sous le regard de leurs enfants, ce qui, sans aucun doute un manque de respect et un acte irresponsable.

En effet, au mois de mai, une fillette de 13 ans a allégué aux autorités que sa mère se prostituait devant elle à leur domicile, et quand les clients étaient en attente, ils la tripotaient. De même, cette dernière a relaté qu’elle a une vie sexuellement active avec son petit ami. Le psychologue poursuit que dans des cas précis comme celui-ci, la présence de la drogue et de l’alcool ne peut qu’aggraver la situation.

Monique Dinan, fondatrice de Mouvement d’Aide à la Maternité (MAM), est catégorique : les jeunes d’aujourd’hui pensent différemment et ce changement est dû au développement rapide de leurs corps. De ce fait, cela expliquerait leur hyperactivité pour le sexe.

Cette responsable, qui travaille dure aux côtés des jeunes, explique que ceux en dessous de 16 ans qui tentent l’expérience sexuelle doivent s’attendre à de graves conséquences. D'une part, ils manquent de maturité, et d'autre, ils ne savent pas les mesures à prendre pour contre-carrer les méfaits du sexe, notamment les maladies sexuellement transmissibles ou être enceinte prématurément, entre autres. « Les chiffres en disent long, l’année dernière près de 665 jeunes filles ont donné naissance à des bébés. Ce qui est quand même alarmant », affirme-t-elle.

Face à des situations pareilles, des associations, comme MAM et le ministère de l’Égalité des genres, et de la Famille, se voient obligées de travailler en collaboration avec les enseignants et les parents pour bien les éduquer sur ce problème.

Dans ce même contexte, MAM a lancé deux CD-ROMs en 2009 à l’intention des enfants pour les instruire sur les lois et les règles de l’amour. « Nous intervenons aussi dans des écoles primaires et secondaires pour parler aux ados des divers développements de leurs corps et des interprétations de leurs pulsions sexuelles », ajoute Monique Dinan.

Quant au ministère de l’Égalité des genres et de la Famille, il a organisé 11 groupes d'École des parents à travers l’île pour apporter les informations appropriées concernant le développement des enfants en général. De plus, « le ministère travaille en collaboration avec le ‘National Children’s Council and Brigade’ pour s’assurer que les étudiants vont bien à école, réduisant ainsi le risque qu’ils se laissent influencer », soutient un officier du ministère.

De plus, le ‘Community Child Protection Programme’ (CCPP) s’ajoute aux autres projets ministériels pour prévenir les cas d’abus sexuels envers ceux et celles âgés de moins de 16 ans. Les autorités travaillent ainsi avec les ados et les parents pour renforcer la relation existante entre les deux pour que les rôles soient bien entretenus des deux côtés.
Même si les associations et le ministère en font autant pour combattre ce fléau qui ternit l’image de Maurice, on se demande qui aura plus d'impact sur nos ados : les campagnes de prévention et de sensibilision ou les films pornos cachés dans leurs sacs.

PILS – Seule une éducation saine pourra résoudre ce problème
Pas de doute, nous vivons à l’ère du développement. Face au phénomène de sexualité auprès des jeunes, le plus important à ce jour n’est plus de chercher sur qui rejeter la faute, mais d’entamer des mesures efficaces. Tel est l’objectif de Prévention Information Lutte contre le Sida (PILS).

Selon Céline Momplé, porte-parole de PILS, « on ne doit pas essayer de comprendre pourquoi les jeunes veulent avoir des relations sexuelles avant leurs 16 ans vu qu’ils ne connaissent même pas l’âge légal dans la plupart des cas ». Elle explique que c’est là un fait inévitable, car nous vivons dans une société hypersexualisée, où la simple publicité de café ou de voiture a une connotation sexuelle, ou les films relatent constamment des histoires d’infidélités, de relations amoureuses et sexuelles.

Toutefois, suite à un rapport publié par l’UNESCO en 2009, ils ont démontré que l’éducation sexuelle a contribué à réduire la prise de risque de 53% des jeunes et qu’elle retarde même l’âge du premier rapport sexuel. C’est pour cela que PILS s’accroche à cette conviction.

« Nous croyons fortement qu’une éducation saine et de bonne qualité peut aider à réduire la désinformation, augmenter la connaissance, rendre plus solides les valeurs et accroître les capacités dans la vie courante », soutient la porte-parole.

Dans cette même optique, PILS élabore régulièrement des programmes de prévention dans les écoles sur les recommandations de l’ONUSIDA, qui leur permettent de comprendre les questions que les enfants se posent et leur vision de l’amour et de la sexualité.


Rajen Suntoo, sociologue : « Trop de liberté peut être dangereux »
> Le nombre d’adolescents ayant des rapports sexuels augmente. Qu’est-ce qui explique ce phénomène ?
C’est un phénomène existant dans tous les pays. Mais le côté alarmant de cette situation, c’est quand des ados sont mal informés. Ce qui donne lieu à des complications, comme attraper le VIH/Sida ou tomber enceinte. Nous constatons que ce problème touche majoritairement les novices venant de familles dites sans restriction.

> Que sous-entendez-vous par famille sans restriction ?
Ce sont des familles qui accordent trop de liberté à leurs enfants. Pas de restriction sur leurs sorties avec de petits copains de tous âges, des sorties nocturnes et des contacts sur Internet. Toute cette liberté donne la chance aux enfants de rencontrer des personnes du sexe opposé, souvent plus âgées qu’eux et les incite à avoir des rapports sexuels.

> Selon vous, qui fait que les jeunes ont des relations sexuelles très tôt ?
Il y a plusieurs facteurs qui peuvent expliquer cette tentation, comme les films, les clips pornos, les pubs, entre autres. Aussi, nous savons que tous, nous avons un rôle à jouer pour prévenir cela. Toutefois, les parents doivent servir d'exemples. S’ils assumaient leurs responsabilités comme il se doit, les enfants n’auraient pas accès à tous ces outils modernes qui les poussent à la tentation. Mais, ils n’ont pas le temps.

> Quels sont les outils efficaces pour contre-carrer ce fléau ?
On sait tous qu’une bonne éducation est essentielle, mais le plus important, c’est que la société civile aussi bien que les parents tiennent leur rôle pour donner le bon exemple...

L’hyper-activité sexuelle – Un développement qui fait mal à la société
Nous vivons dans une société en constante évolution à tous les niveaux. Si la mentalité des gens a beaucoup changé, le corps humain a aussi connu une évolution fulgurante. Selon les thèses logiques, autrefois les filles étaient réglées entre 14 et 16 ans, et aujourd’hui elles le sont à partir de 8 ans. Pareil pour les garçons qui connaissent la puberté plus tôt, entre 12 et 14 ans. Donc, les hormones se développent plus rapidement, provoquant ainsi cette hyper-activité chez les ados.

Toutefois, si le développement physique est précoce chez les adolescents, tel n’est pas le cas, au niveau psychologique. Ce qui expliquerait les cas exagérés de grossesse et de maladies sexuellement transmissibles. De surcroît, leur hyper-activité sexuelle laisse place à des actes irréfléchis.

Le mois dernier, un jeune homme de 17 ans a avoué aux autorités qu’il avait forcé sa petite sœur de 11 ans à avoir des relations sexuelles avec lui, tout simplement parce qu’il avait fantasmé sur ses seins.
Toujours le mois dernier, alors que les parents croyaient que leur fille de 15 ans avait été kidnappée, elle roucoulait dans les bras de son petit ami.

Cette fois-ci, une jeune fille de 12 ans se rend chez son petit ami, alors que ses parents pensent qu’elle était à l’église. Une fois elle est chez lui, ce dernier la force à assouvir ses pulsions sexuelles alors qu’elle n’est pas consentante.
Plus loin, une fille de 12 ans tente l'exploit, elle fait l’amour sur une plage avec trois hommes. Entre autres, il s’agissait de son copain de 18 ans, et de deux habitants de son village âgés de 23 ans et 21 ans.

Des "exploits" comme ceux-ci en choquent plus d’un, et c’est le prix à payer pour la curiosité de l’homme à toujours et toujours vouloir connaître de nouvelles sensations.

Scorpio and Aries Compatibility

The overall compatibility between combination of Aries and Scorpio can be breathtaking. Scorpio is all set to take the breath away out of Aries. Together they are bound to extremely power packed beyond one’s imagination. This combination is indeed a unique and intense combination from the beginning. But the key lies in the manner it is handled.
Aries love to dominate and surprisingly, Scorpio also has a preference for being on the centre stage. Both the dominating signs will want to be the leader in this combination, vouching for same position in their relationship. This can spell trouble.

To enliven the positive aspects of this relationship, both Aries and Scorpio must avoid getting into a battle of egos.
Moreover, Scorpio is reticent and restrained, Aries is barefaced and unabashed. They are likely to share their thoughts and feelings but not at the first go.
According to the natal charts, both Aries and Scorpio are not very conservative in their respective capacities. Aries is comfortable adjusting to new ideas and thoughts and Scorpio also adjusts gradually and slowly.

Emotional Compatibility
Both Aries and Scorpio are highly emotional beings but their personality-expression are very dissimilar. The emotional quotient between Aries and Scorpio is a highly charged one. This relationship is passionate as well as happening. While they will wonder how they will manage without each other. At the same time they will enjoy taking risks and have many exciting adventures together.

The negative emotions that prevail in the combination of Aries and Scorpio are resentment and possessiveness. Since these traits are common to them, very often they can develop into heated arguments. Aries’s, being ambitious, will have many extra-curricular interests and this fact could make Scorpio feel awfully unconfident. This might make him behave with Aries in an authoritarian manner. The emotional exploitation of Scorpio might upset Aries in retrospective. The basic emotional reaction of Aries might be that of fascination initially but it can be slightly intimidating later. They must learn to calm their intense emotional nature lest to avoid emotional drama between each other.

Professional Compatibility
If bound in a professional liaison, Aries may not immediately like Scorpio. But understand that it would be impossible to ignore the presence of Scorpio. While handling transaction, Aries might feel overwhelmed. Aries might feel that Scorpio bring along with him or her too much of situations and circumstances. This could be the highlight of Professional Compatibility between Aries and


Scorpio. They might feel restricted in company of Scorpio as they bring along with them fiscal tasks. Due to contradictory placement of stars in the horoscopes of Aries and Scorpio, the professional compatibility of theirs cannot be of smooth sailing. They should not look forward to this combination for harmonious working conditions.
If taken in a constructive way, the strategic nature of Scorpio can be of great advantage to the slow and planned nature of Aries. Aries can teach Scorpio the fine art of moving ahead in life in case of long term planning. They should avoid long term disagreement as that can demolish their exceptional capacity of professional order. To sum up, the professional compatibility has no sustenance power and short fuse. They can derive professional strength only when they both work as a dynamic team.

Romantic Compatibility
The romantic equation between Aries and Scorpio can be either motivating or futile. There is no mediocre level of compatibility between them but a scope of developing two diverse paths in either track. There is tremendous amount of lively energy in both the signs of Aries and Scorpio and pleasantly both of them believe in utilizing that energy. Both tend to consume their romantic imagination in order to pep up their love life. On the contrary, both Aries and Scorpio are extremely independent and hate being driven by anyone even each other in their love pursuits. During love fights Aries will react by behaving in a frustrated and impatient manner. This can also be followed by frequent outbursts of anger. But they also tend to forget the entire outburst very soon and get back to their romantic rendezvous. Scorpio will also come back to romanticism after forgetting all grudges and resentments.

Marital Compatibility
The marital compatibility between Aries and Scorpio correspond to ruse. Scorpions often intimidate Aries initially and awaken their emotions. This leads to the situation in a marriage where Scorpio tends to say certain things that might irritate Aries. The common lord planet of Scorpio and Aries is Mars planet. It thus causes rebellion in marriage and; the compatibility goes haywire. Out of the duo, Scorpio is inclined to nudge the innermost romantic desires of Aries. Scorpio will also make many efforts to keep the marriage lively and vivacious. Aries must try to ignore challenging situation at home front lest to avoid Scorpio. Let the basic nature of each the zodiac take it normal course and then they’ll realize that they have found the right match for each other. The marital compatibility of Aries and Scorpio, as per their natal charts, can be revolutionized provided they engage themselves in mutual activities and keep themselves pleasantly and emotionally occupied.




Scorpio and Aries Compatibility
Scorpio and Aries Compatibility can be beautiful or a battlefield of emotional strain and strife. Scorpio's and Aries share a passion in the areas of loyalty and principle. It comforts both signs to know that the other will take great care of them. These two can accomplish many feats together as long as they respect each other differences.

Scorpio and Aries Compatibility shows that they will do best when they both learn that neither one will take any heat for the other. They are both fighters and have no problem standing up for themselves or the cause in which the both staunchly believe in. The Aries will benefit most by realizing that he or she can not break the will of a Scorpio. If they learn how to work best together they will rarely find themselves in defeat. These two will strive to win, no matter the game. These two make a fiery determined partnership.Neither will compromise this loyalty given to them as a gift, which seems to draw them closer to each other.

Scorpios need loyalty, honesty and do not suffer fools or selfishness. At the same time Aries can tend to be selfish and egotistical. Scorpio's need commitment. An Aries will commit but can lose interest quickly if something has lost its excitement.

Where the problems lie is that both are set in their ways, wanting only what they see best. It is then, that the signs come up against each other, head to head, that a war is waged.


Scorpio will not accept defeat and the Aries must win. Scorpio never gives in, never admits defeat. Aries shares the fierce will to win. Yet, there’s another Scorpio quality, intangible, indefinable, that Aries finds impossible to comprehend; the long lasting will power of a Scorpio.

Aries, typically defensive trys to protect their sensitive nature from any sort of attack. They never pick fights, but when one arises, the attacker had better watch out. They will respond with fiery rage and most will be left not knowing how to extinguish the fire. An Aries will defiantly leave their mark on the world.

In Contrast, Scorpios can lean more towards the offensive, but not so much out of the irrational rage. Scorpios will strike once and strike hard. They will use their intellect to plan and strategize their attack while often using deception to target and exploit another’s weakness. When a Scorpio is pushed, they will not run, but wait for the right moment to unleash their fury, but when the sting of the Scorpio hits you, it leave such an impact, that no one will dare threat, push or even abuse a Scorpio twice. And this comes without warning. People learn quickly not to mess with Scorpios. Scorpios are perfect teachers of will power and stability.

Scorpio and Aries Compatibility would make more sense if an Aries learns to cooperate with a Scorpio through experience. This type of cooperation will require an Aries to respectfully distance them self. The nature of a Scorpio requires that they need to learn early on, through emotional development, social skills such as forgiveness, empathy, courtesy and respect for authority. These will allow healthier social interactions and relationships. In other words, they must learn to work through things and resolve issues and exhaust all avenues for compromise. In the happier Scorpio and Aries Compatibility matches, however, the Aries will respond beautifully to the Scorpio friend, neighbor, relative, business associate, lover or mate. Just so, the Scorpio half of the team tries to develop more tolerable outlook, in relation to the Aries’ more open nature and impulsive approach to life. There will be occasional moments when the Scorpio’s sharp stare of angry disapproval, or overpowered will, can be out-and-out chilling to an Aries, causing the Aries to inwardly shiver. Their strategies are very different. Aries defends intensely, in the front lines. Scorpio attacks out of the blue and without warning. At war, these two are natural enemies. Harmony is better — and it begins with love. Ss

Fabulations des enfants: Petits mensonges, grandes conséquences

La vérité sort toujours de la bouche des enfants ! Ce n’est pas l’enseignant de l’établissement du Sud, accusé d’attouchements sexuels par plusieurs de ses élèves, qui va confirmer ce dicton. Certes, les parents des enfants ont, tour à tour, retiré leurs plaintes à la police. N’empêche que, pendant plusieurs jours, la réputation de l’enseignant a été entachée. On imagine son calvaire…

Ce n’est pas le seul cas. Trois mois plus tôt, un enseignant a été blanchi en Cour. Lui aussi était accusé d’attouchements sur un élève. Il lui a fallu six ans pour que sa réputation soit rétablie ! Si elle l’a réellement été ! Ce sont des cas qui ont fait l’actualité. Mais il y en a tant d’autres, qui n’ont pas eu de conséquences aussi fâcheuses, au point où la police y a été mêlée. Mais, à cause de petits mensonges sortant de la bouche des enfants, combien de proches se sont querellés ? Combien de voisins se sont disputés ?

Cela nous amène à nous interroger sur la capacité des enfants à monter une histoire de toutes pièces. Si les parents refusent bien souvent d’admettre que leur enfant est un fabulateur, il est grand temps qu’ils regardent la réalité en face. Et cela, dans l’intérêt même de l’enfant. Tel est l’avertissement que donnent les enseignants aux parents.

« Les enquêtes, dans ces deux cas, ont révélé que les enfants avaient inventé ces histoires d’attouchements. Mais, dans un cas, l’affaire a duré six ans. Pendant toutes ces années, cet enseignant a été suspendu de ses fonctions, sans compter que sa réputation a été ternie. Il a dû subir toutes sortes de remarques. Qui va le dédommager pour tout cela ? » demande un autre enseignant.

Il avoue qu’il ne parvient plus à faire son travail en toute sérénité. Car, ajoute-t-il, il vit en permanence avec la crainte de subir le même sort que son collègue suite à une fausse accusation d’un de ses élèves. Une crainte que beaucoup d’enseignants partagent, explique Vinod Seegum, président de la Government Teachers Union (GTU). Il va même jusqu’à dire que ce phénomène ne cesse de prendre de l’ampleur dans les établissements scolaires. Ce qui est en train de faire beaucoup de mal au corps enseignant. « De nos jours, il suffit qu’un enfant déteste son prof pour qu’il fasse toutes sortes d’allégations contre lui. Le plus grave, c’est que, souvent, les parents eux-mêmes les encouragent à mentir pour toutes sortes de raisons. Cela est révoltant !», tonne le syndicaliste.

Il donne comme exemple le cas de cet enseignant que haïssaient les parents d’un de ses élèves. Ils avaient alors eu l’idée de pousser leur enfant à alléguer que ce prof était alcoolique. L’enfant avait même allégué que l’enseignant buvait durant les heures de classe. «On se rendra finalement compte, après enquête, que cet enseignant est loin d’être alcoolique. Pis, le prof en question n’a jamais pris une goutte d’alcool. On réalisera que ce sont les parents qui étaient derrière cette fabulation», relate-t-il.

Appel aux PTA

Il lance de ce fait un appel aux dirigeants des associations de parents d’enfants (Parent Teachers Association – PTA) pour qu’ils assument leurs responsabilités. « Leur rôle n’est pas uniquement de signaler qu’il y a une vitre cassée dans une classe. Ils ont également un rôle social. Ils doivent sensibiliser les parents sur la tendance des enfants à fabuler. Je pense même que les dirigeants de ces associations ont eux aussi besoin d’une formation pour mieux assumer leur rôle. Car, au lieu de s’attaquer à ces problèmes sociaux dans les écoles, ils passent leur temps à jouer aux députés dans leur localité», martèle le président de la GTU.

Enfin, Vinod Seegum est d’avis que ce problème prend une de l’ampleur dans les institutions scolaires parce que certains élèves, même au primaire, sont de fortes têtes, qui ne veulent écouter personne. Ils vont salir la réputation du prof dès que ce dernier va tenter de les discipliner. «En sus du fait que la punition corporelle n’est plus permise dans les écoles, une circulaire du ministère de l’Éducation en janvier dernier met en garde contre l’agression verbale. Ce qui pousse l’enseignant à être très prudent même lorsqu’il réprimande un élève. Car on ignore quel genre de réprimande peut être considéré comme une agression verbale. Comment faire régner la discipline chez les enfants dans de telles conditions ? » se demande Vinod Seegum.

Ashik Junglee, président de la General Purpose Teachers Union, est lui aussi d’avis que la fabulation, chez les écoliers devient monnaie courante. Le syndicaliste, également porte-parole des conseillers en pédagogie, soutient que la situation est alarmante. « Nous notons qu’il y a de plus en plus d’enfants qui ont des problèmes de comportement à l’école aussi bien qu’à la maison. Malheureusement, les parents n’arrivent plus à les rappeler à l’ordre et encore moins à maintenir la discipline. De plus, ils prennent toujours ce que leur disent leurs enfants pour paroles d’Évangile alors que ces derniers mentent souvent », soutient-il.

Le syndicaliste cite un exemple qui selon lui, devient très courant. C’est celui de l’enfant qui fait croire à ses parents que son prof s’est montré très agressif à son égard. Au lieu de prendre la version de l’enseignant et lui demander des explications, dit-il, les parents débarquent à l’école pour l’insulter, voire le menacer. L’enseignant ne peut même plus hausser le ton avec l’enfant qui se plaint auprès de ses parents. Ces derniers accourent alors à l’école pour faire de l’esclandre.

Malheureusement, dit-il, la plupart des parents se laissent mener par le bout du nez par leurs enfants. Il constate que de nombreux parents fuient leurs responsabilités parce qu’ils ont d’autres priorités. Ils ont alors tendance à négliger leurs enfants. Le président de la General Purpose Teachers Union évoque le cas d’un élève du primaire qui avait accusé son prof de punition corporelle. L’enquête menée sur cet incident a finalement révélé que l’enfant s’était plutôt battu avec ses amis et avait reçu des coups. Il avait porté le blâme sur son prof afin de ne pas être réprimandé par ses parents.

Une école des parents

Le syndicaliste souligne d’autre part que les enfants sont très avertis sur la sexualité de nos jours, contrairement à ce que croient leurs parents. C’est ce qui explique, dit-il, les fabulations à portée sexuelle que font certains élèves, dont les allégations d’attouchements contre leurs profs. Il évoque même le cas de cet écolier des basses Plaines Wilhems qui avait en sa possession un magazine pornographique. Pressé de questions par son prof, il devait avouer que ce magazine appartenait à ses parents. Convoqués à l’école, ces derniers auront pour priorité de récupérer leur magazine. Ce qui a beaucoup étonné les enseignants qui s’attendaient plutôt à ce qu’ils réprimandent leur enfant pour avoir volé ce magazine ! Ashik Junglee est d’avis qu’il est grand temps d’avoir une école des parents pour leur apprendre à élever correctement leurs enfants.

Le mensonge, un mode de vie ?

Christina (prénom fictif) est enseignante dans une école confessionnelle depuis neuf ans. Elle constate que le mensonge est devenu un mode de vie au sein de la société actuelle. Si les parents mentent, leurs enfants vont automatiquement en faire de même. Et ce, en pensant que c’est une habitude normale de mentir. Pour elle, les enfants sont de fins psychologues qui observent toujours les réactions et le comportement des adultes. « Nous n’en sommes pas toujours conscients. Mais les enfants sont toujours en train d’observer les adultes. Ils savent ainsi comment ces derniers vont réagir dans des circonstances précises. C’est ce qui les pousse donc à mentir par exemple pour ne pas se faire gronder lorsqu’ils font des bêtises », explique la jeune enseignante. Elle évoque les fabulations d’un enfant de six ans dans sa classe qui l’ont beaucoup marquée. L’enfant lui avait fait croire qu’il était issu d’une famille très pauvre. «Il m’avait dit que, chez lui, il n’y avait souvent rien à manger. Qu’il n’y avait ni savon, ni dentifrice. J’ai eu tellement pitié de lui que je lui ai offert de la nourriture et du yaourt à plusieurs reprises », dit-elle. Mais, un beau jour, il a commis une gaffe. Il a dit que son père lui avait offert un blouson. « J’ai commencé à me poser des questions. J’ai alors questionné la maman, ce que je n’ai pas fait avant pour ne pas l’embarrasser, pour savoir si vraiment ils étaient pauvres. Elle était tout étonnée. Elle m’a appris qu’ils ne vivent pas dans l’extrême pauvreté et que c’est son fils qui est trop glouton. En fait, il faisait toujours croire qu’il n’y avait rien à manger chez lui parce qu’il voulait toujours manger plus. Il est obsédé par la nourriture. C’est fou la façon dont je me suis laissée manipuler par un enfant de six ans ! Je n’en reviens toujours pas », avoue l’enseignante.

Dr Véronique Wan Hok Chee, psychologue clinicienne: « L’enfant peut être un fin manipulateur »

> Qu’est-ce qui explique cette tendance chez l’enfant à fabuler ?

Tout enfant a capacité de monter une histoire de toutes pièces. Il le fait souvent, soit pour plaire aux autres, soit pour se donner de l’importance. Ou encore pour attirer l’attention des autres. L’enfant fabulateur croit souvent être le centre du monde. Ce qui est inquiétant, c’est la façon dont les parents ont tendance à tolérer ces fabulations de la part de leur enfant. Ils le font bien souvent parce qu’ils ont d’autres soucis et d’autres priorités. Ils ferment alors les yeux sur tout ce que fait leur enfant. Ils passent sur ses caprices et ne le rappellent pas à l’ordre lorsqu’il ment. Je note que les parents sont moins sévères et les enfants plus exigeants aujourd’hui. Mais, il ne faut pas occulter le fait que l’enfant peut être un fin manipulateur. Il peut inventer n’importe quoi dans son intérêt. Les parents doivent donc être plus vigilants et plus sévères.

> Le fait de fabuler de la sorte durant l’enfance, cela peut-il avoir un impact sur sa vie d’adulte ?

Absolument ! Un enfant qui a passé son enfance à inventer des histoires finira très probablement par devenir mythomane à l’âge adulte. Il ment tout le temps et à tout le monde. Ce qui est une grave pathologie du comportement. J’insiste donc sur le fait que les parents doivent rappeler à l’ordre l’enfant fabulateur le plus tôt possible. Cela, afin que mentir ne devienne pas, chez lui, une seconde nature lorsqu’il deviendra adulte. Car, il lui faudra toujours mentir pour couvrir un autre mensonge, comme un effet de chaîne.

> Comment savoir si un enfant invente une histoire ou dit la vérité ?

Cela n’est, je le concède, guère évident. Car il faut avoir plusieurs sessions de travail avec l’enfant, gagner sa confiance, percer son intimité et analyser son comportement pour le savoir. En fait, c’est une enquête approfondie que nous menons pour déterminer si l’enfant est en train de fabuler ou pas.

> Quel cas de fabulation chez l’enfant vous a le plus frappée jusqu’ici en tant que psychologue clinicienne ?

Il s’agit de celui d’une fille de sept ans qui faisait croire qu’elle allait se suicider. En fait, elle a inventé cela en se basant sur ce qu’elle a entendu sur sa mère. Cette dernière s’était effectivement suicidée. La fillette faisait donc croire à ses amis de classe qu’elle allait mettre fin à ses jours en se jetant dans le vide. Cela a suscité une véritable panique à l’école car tout le monde croyait qu’elle allait le faire alors qu’elle n’avait que sept ans ! Après un long interrogatoire, j’ai finalement su que c’était, en fait, une fille pleine d’énergie qui n’a aucune tendance suicidaire. Sauf qu’elle est jalouse de sa belle-mère et qu’elle est persuadée que son père ne l’aime pas. D’où cette histoire de suicide qu’elle a inventée.

> Quels sont vos conseils aux parents ?

Je tiens à souligner qu’être parent, ce n’est pas donné à tout le monde. Encore faut-il savoir jouer son rôle de parent. Je constate que de nombreux parents fuient actuellement leurs responsabilités. Il est grand temps qu’ils se ressaisissent pour mieux exercer leur autorité sur leurs enfants.

Vivre avec des crocodiles!

Estelle est la maman de Dylan, 9 ans. Elle s’inquiète, elle aussi, de la tendance chez certains des amis de son fils à fabuler. «Un de ses amis a raconté qu’il a embrassé une autre fille de la classe sur la bouche. Toutefois, une petite enquête du prof de la classe a finalement révélé que cet enfant avait tout inventé. Un autre ami de mon fils avait fait croire qu’il était déjà parti en France alors que tel n’a jamais été le cas. Il a agi ainsi tout simplement pour faire croire aux autres que tout comme Dylan, il a lui aussi visité la France. Une autre fille lui a raconté qu’elle a passé un long moment en compagnie de crocodiles au Casela ! Ce Je trouve ces comportements inquiétants ! D’autant que j’ignore si mon fils a lui aussi tendance à inventer des histoires à l’école. J’espère que non ! » lance Estelle, la mine inquiète.

Lutchmeecant Soopal, président d’une PTA: « Les parents doivent devenir plus responsables »

Il est le président de la PTA de l’école primaire Sir Veerasamy Ringadoo de Quatres-Bornes. Il confirme les dires des enseignants à l’effet que les parents sont trop tolérants envers leurs enfants. Selon lui, il n’y a qu’une minorité de parents qui tentent au moins de prendre la version d’un enseignant pointé du doigt par l’enfant.

« La majorité des parents croient tout ce que leur disent leurs enfants. Pourtant, ces derniers mentent souvent pour se tirer d’affaire ou tout simplement pour se venger. Ils sont nombreux par exemple à le faire lorsque leur prof les réprimande. Ils vont alors inventer toutes sortes d’histoires contre l’enseignant. Les parents doivent donc devenir plus responsables. Ils doivent au moins avoir la version de l’enseignant pour savoir ce qui s’est passé exactement. Ils doivent cesser de donner raison aveuglément à leurs enfants », souligne-t-il.
Par ailleurs, Lutchmeecant Soopal se dit en faveur de la punition corporelle dans les écoles. Afin, dit-il, que les enfants indisciplinés ne prennent pas la classe en otage. Pour lui, il est important que le prof maintienne la discipline dans sa classe. D’autant que, souvent, il a au moins quarante élèves à sa charge.

« Il faut éduquer les parents sur la façon dont ils doivent élever leurs enfants. Il faut aussi qu’il y ait une bonne entente entre enseignants, responsables de l’école et les parents. Ce qui permettra de mieux répertorier les enfants fabulateurs qui pourront alors être référés au social worker du ministère de l’Education et à un psychologue pour un suivi », insiste-t-il.

Le Flight Clearance Office obtient la norme ISO 9001 : 2008 – Ashit Gungah : « La complaisance au niveau de la sécurité peut être catastrophique»

La mise en place d’un système de gestion de qualité a permis au Flight Clearance Office du département de l’aviation civile d’obtenir la norme MS ISO 9001 : 2008.

Le certificat a été remis au directeur de ce département, lundi, par le ministre de la Fonction publique, Ashit Gungah. Selon le ministre Gungah, il y a souvent de nombreuses personnes qui ont une lourde tâche mais qui l’accomplissent derrière les rideaux. Cela, dit-il, il faut le reconnaître.

«L’équipe du Flight Clearance Office a une très haute responsabilité. Elle s’occupe, non seulement de la sécurité des passagers, mais également de celle du public», a souligné Ashit Gungah qui ajoute, d’ailleurs, qu’il faut désormais penser en termes de niveau international. Pour lui, petit à petit, tous les ministères et départements de la Fonction publique seront appelés à atteindre ces normes internationales.

La certification ISO au Flight Clearance Office, estime le ministre de la Fonction publique, peut être considérée comme une reconnaissance que ce département opère selon les niveaux de gestion internationale. Et de poursuivre : «Un espace aérien sécurisé est un aspect très important pour le développement durable des divers piliers de l’économie, principalement l’industrie touristique, le secteur des TICs, celui des services financiers et également le commerce.»

D’ailleurs, le ministre Gungah dit attendre que le rôle important du département de l’aviation civile dans le développement du pays se poursuive à l’avenir. Dans le même sens, il insiste sur le fait que la complaisance au niveau de la sécurité peut être catastrophique, non seulement en termes de pertes de vies, mais aussi pour la sécurité nationale.

Par ailleurs, le ministre Ashit Gungah a saisi l’occasion pour rappeler que, depuis sa nomination comme ministre, il a exprimé son souhait de transformer la Fonction publique en un ‘smarter civil service’. Ce qui veut dire, rappelle-t-il, placer les clients au cœur de chaque action, être créatif et être prêt à prendre des risques calculés, être flexible et s’adapter aux nouveaux défis, entre autres.

En conclusion, le ministre de la Fonction publique a affirmé qu’il est certain qu’avec le certificat ISO, le Flight Clearance Office sera en meilleure position d’atteindre sa vision, notamment d’être reconnu comme le meilleur régulateur de l’aviation civile et le meilleur pourvoyeur de services de navigation aérienne de la région.

Extract: Some Simple Mantras, If You Are Just Starting Out

Some of you may be interested or even fascinated by the discipline of mantra, but feel somewhat overwhelmed by the array of mantras and disciplines, astotaras and pujas you find in these pages. If so, then this chapter will be of use to you. The next few pages contain some simple mantras and their common application. They have been compiled from other chapters throughout the rest of this book, drawn from the various headings of the deities or principles involved. These mantras address various life issues which we all face from time to time. If you want more information or more mantras relating to the deities or principles involved, consult the appropriate chapter.
Ganesha: Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha

Rough Translation: 'Om and salutations to the remover of obstacles for which Gum is the seed.'

The story of Ganesha is found in the chapter devoted to this principle. But for your immediate need, you need only know that for seen or unseen obstacles which seem to be standing in the way of your progress or achievement, either specifically or generally, this mantra has proved invaluable. It has been used it with great success not only in India, but here in the West dozens of people have related to me their success in turning things around in their life by using this mantra.
Lakshmi: Om Shrim Mahalakshmiyei Swaha

Rough Translation: 'Om and salutations to that feminine energy which bestows all manner of wealth, and for which Shrim is the seed'

This mantra has not only been used for the purpose of attracting prosperity, but also for drawing in proper friends, clearing up family misunderstandings and quarrels, and smoothing some health problems. As we all know, there are many different kinds of wealth. As you use this mantra, focus on the kind of wealth you wish to manifest in your life.
Durga: Om Dum Durgayei Namaha

Rough Translation: 'Om and Salutations to that feminine energy which protects from all manner of negative influences, and for which Dum is the seed.'

Durga is the Divine Protectress. Typically shown riding a lion or a tiger, Durga has a hundred arms, each with a different weapon of destruction. Yet her face is exquisitely beautiful to behold. The interpretation is that to the pious and the sincere seeker after truth, her sight can produce ecstacy and a variety of beautiful forms. But the negative, harmful or demonic, her countenance is as terrible as Kali, except she shows more weapons of destruction than Kali (who is described later).
Saraswati: Om Eim Saraswatyei Swaha

Rough Translation: 'Om and salutations to that feminine energy which informs all artistic and scholastic endeavor, and for which Eim (pronounced I'm) is the seed.'

Saraswati holds a musical instrument, the vina, in one hand and a rosary in another hand. She spans the world of mundane knowledge and spiritual understanding. Those pursuing any artistic or educational endeavor whatsoever will gain greatly from the practice of this mantra.
Shiva: Om Namah Shivaya

This mantra has no approximate translation. The sounds related directly to the principles which govern each of the first six chakras on the spine...Earth, water, fire, air, ether. Notice that this does not refer to the chakras themselves which have a different set of seed sounds, but rather the principles which govern those chakras in their place. A very rough, non-literal translation could be something like, 'Om and salutations to that which I am capable of becoming.' This mantra will start one out on the path of subtle development of spiritual attainments. It is the beginning on the path of Siddha Yoga, or the Yoga of Perfection of the Divine Vehicle.
Rama: Om Sri Rama Jaya Rama, Jaya, Jaya Rama

Rough Translation: 'Om and Victory to Rama (the self within), victory, victory to Rama.'

Rama was an Avatar who came several thousand years ago. His sole purpose was to show how a person should live a Divine Life while living in a human body. A short story about the esoteric meaning of his life is found in the chapter devoted to him. You will recall from the previous chapter that Mahatma Gandhi practiced this mantra for over 60 years. This mantra will 'take one across' the ocean of rebirth. In a more immediate way, it is most powerful in reducing negative karmic effects no matter in which life they might have occurred. I have also had a powerful spiritual healing experience (for another person), while using this mantra intensely.

The Planet Saturn: Om Sri Shanaishwaraya Swaha

Rough translation: 'Om and salutations to the presiding spirit in the planet Saturn.'

Saturn is the planet of lessons. It is closely related to the karma we may encounter in a given lifetime. It also stands as a gatekeeper to some of the higher vibrations to which we aspire though spiritual development. By offering salutations outwardly, one clears certain internal obstructing energy patterns. But Saturn has received an overly negative reputation from some astrologers. There have been circumstances where very positive things manifested in people's lives unexpectedly, apparently as a direct result of working with this mantra.

Internally, Saturn energy is predominant in the spleen, knees and skeletal system. However, as Saturn moves through the various astrological signs, it 'triggers' karma we may have stored under astrological configurations found in that sign. Therefore, the use of the Saturn mantra can mitigate and even clear certain categories of karma which appear in our lives. This mantra has been used with great success personally. And I have received reports of its efficacy from many other people.
Subramanya: Om Sharavana-bhavaya Namaha

Rough translation, 'Om and salutations to the son of Shiva, who brings auspiciousness and who is chief of the celestial army.'

The positive effects of this mantra may not be so clearly seen or described as some of the others: a seeming increase in good fortune or luck; the ability to make the best of a set of circumstances which may occur; an increase in positive mental or emotional disposition; an easier route to becoming physically fit. Yet these few phrases do not begin to exhaust the benefits of using this mantra. It seems to brighten or optimize nearly everything in life.
Rama (Healing Mantra):
Om Apadamapa Hartaram Dataram Sarva Sampadam
Loka Bhi Ramam Sri Rama Bhuyo Bhuyo Namamyaham

This is a long mantra to put in a chapter for those just starting off, but is placed here because it is the most powerful healing mantra I have ever encountered. The very rough translation is, 'Om, Oh most compassionate Rama please send your healing energy right here to the earth, to the earth (twice for emphasis.)'

I have seen this mantra completely cure one person from a schizophrenic break who was in a locked ward. The psychiatrist said he would never lead a life on the outside again. In the middle of a 40 day sadhana done in his behalf, he was living in a 'halfway house' for those on the road to recovery. After 40 days of a spiritual discipline done on his behalf, he was on his own. He has since graduated from Art School which he attended on scholarship, and is working as an artist.

Another individual who was on medication, took off spurning his pills and disappeared for a time. After a 40 day sadhana done on his behalf, he had stabilized his life and was back on his medication without complaint.

A woman I know was in constant pain for four years. She undertook this discipline and after just a few weeks was in less pain than at any time she could remember over the past several years. She is still doing the mantra and expects to be pain-free relatively soon.

Although the mantra is long, it is simple to say phonetically. If you can, say it 108 times in a sitting. If you are just starting out, this may initially take up to one hour. After you are comfortable with the mantra, it will only take you 30 minutes.
Bodhisattwa Avalokiteshwara (Called Chenresig in Tibetan Buddhism):
Om Mani Padme Hum

Rough Translation: 'Om, salutations to The Jewel of Consciousness (the mind) which has reached the heart's lotus.'

This mantra is practiced more than any other in the world. It is pre-eminent in producing a state of dynamic compassion in the sayer. Dynamic means that this compassion contains as part of it the ability to powerfully manifest in both subtle and obvious ways. One of the simple yet profound teachings which accompanies this mantra is the concept that when the mind and heart become united, anything is possible. The implications of this simple thought are staggering. If you want to change the world for the better, this mantra should be in your spiritual toolbox. For more on this mantra, see the chapter on the Wesak Festival.

A dedicated group of followers of Kuan Yin use this mantra to invoke her as an emanation of Avaloketeshwara, while others use the mantra Namo Kuan Shi Yin Pu Sa.
Getting Started

Start by picking some aspect of your life you wish to improve or some vexing problem you would like to solve or dissolve. Then pick a mantra which seems, to you, to apply. Offer a prayer to God, in whatever way you relate to God. Ask for God's blessing in accomplishing your objective in doing this spiritual discipline.

Once you have decided to undertake the discipline and offered your prayers, then pick a place where you will say your mantra for a certain number of times each day. If possible, obtain a rosary of some kind and do your mantras in some multiple of 108. If getting a rosary is not possible, then decide on a certain amount of time you will spend each day saying your mantra. It can be five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes or even an hour. For your first experience, any time up to twenty minutes is advisable.

The reason for taking things easy for the first 40 day commitment is due to the cumulative action of the mantra. For the first few days, all will probably go smoothly. Then as you progress, you may find that things start to get in the way of your doing the discipline: You oversleep; there is some minor emergency; you get a cold, whatever. This means that you are beginning to effect the inner 'something' for which you undertook the mantra. You are beginning to encounter inner resistance. That inner resistance manifests as outer obstacles to your discipline. It has almost become a joke in many spiritual circles in which the practice of mantra is common, that something of a very surprising nature happened on day 33 or 35 of a 40 day sadhana. It has happened to me and many others with whom I have spoken on innumerable occasions over the last 22 years.

Develop a sense of humor about it, and be thankful. There is no better indication that your efforts are working than to have small upheavals in your life while you are in the midst of a 40 day mantra discipline. Ask anyone who has undertaken one and they will have some interesting stories for you.

THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK MANTRA TOTEM.

Hi friends, I'm not superstitious but these mantras help in ur life.

THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK MANTRA TOTEM.

You may not believe in this but the advice is great! Read all the way down, you might discover something new!!!

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.

11. Don't judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

21. Spend some time alone.

7 out of 10 People Marry Someone They're "Socially Connected" To

Lovelies:



A few weeks ago, while reading a New York Times article about evolution+dating, I came to a passage that I found particularly interesting. It said that a great way for a person to increase his or her odds of meeting a mate was simply by making more of an effort to tap into his or her social networks.



The NYT story went on to say that:

... a landmark 1992 Chicago sex survey of 3,432 adults ages 18 to 59, ... found that 68 percent of married people in the survey reported meeting their spouse through a friend, family member or other mutual acquaintance.



The story also mentions a new book, Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives, that is coming out next month. Co-written by Dr. Nicholas A. Christakis of Harvard Medical School and James H. Fowler, a political scientist at UC-San Diego, the author cite the Chicago study when arguing that dating is not a random process. They also help to illustrate the staggering number of people we are connected to, through three degrees of separation:


If you are single and you know 20 people reasonably well, and if each of them knows 20 other people, and each of them knows 20 other people, then you are connected to 8,000 people who are three degrees away. And one of them is likely to be your future spouse.



Wow!



The Chicago study would suggest that most of us don't have to waste our time online dating--or even flirting! Rather, we should get busy asking our friends to set us up; going to parties that people we know invite us to; and perusing our friends' Facebook friends to see if we can find people we're interested in.



At the same time, I wonder how things have changed since the Chicago study was done, almost twenty years ago. Since the dawn of Internet dating, do more people now marry complete strangers? And how do marriages of people who are socially connected beforehand compare to the marriages of people who were initially complete strangers, in terms of things like self-reported happiness and duration of marriage?



Anyway, once Christakis's book comes out, I'm hopeful he'll do an interview with me for the blog, so we can have all these questions answered then.



xxx

3 Ways to Use Your Body to Flirt

#1: HOW TO "MIRROR" SOMEONE YOU'RE HAVING A FUN FLIRTATION WITH

ME: In you book, you say a person mirror his or her date’s movement if he/she likes her/him. Can you tell us how to "mirror"?

JUDY: Mirroring your date’s movements—a practice known as the chameleon effect—conveys that you two are on the same wavelength, which can enhance your rapport. So if your date crosses his legs, cross yours. If he takes a swig of his drink, sip yours. Or, just ask your date to dance. Dancing forces you to mirror each other’s movements, which is why it’s such a surefire romantic mood-setter.



#2: THE GESTURE THAT WILL MAKE SOMEONE WANT TO CUDDLE WITH YOU

ME: Wow! Cool! Who knew there was a science to the dancing thing!


You also say, in your book, that “aw, shucks” gestures—like shrugging or turning up your palm—are good in a flirty situation. Why's that?

JUDY: One goal of flirting is to advertise your friendly intentions. An upturned palm is a way to say “I have nothing to hide.” (In ancient times it probably meant “I’m not holding a rock to throw at you.”) Shrugging your shoulders, a gesture known among biologists as the “cute response,” crops up unconsciously when we see babies or puppies. It essentially says, “You’re cute! Let’s cuddle!” And that works wonders in a dating scenario as well.



#3: GETTING INTO SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE--IN A GOOD WAY

ME: You write that it’s a good idea to get into someone’s personal space a little. Why's that? And how should you do it? When should you get OUT of their personal space?

JUDY: The bubble of air eighteen inches around someone’s body is their “intimate space”—a no-go zone when you first meet someone. To test the waters and see if someone’s up for you breaking through this barrier, find an excuse to step briefly into this zone—say, by allowing someone behind you to pass, or to grab an appetizer off a wandering tray—then step back out again. If this person is drawn to you, he or she will respond by stepping in closer after you’ve backed off.



ME: Let’s say you are flirting with someone and you want to take things up a notch without coming on too strong. Should you touch the person in question? Where is a good place to touch? I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that anything below the belt and above the thigh is not such a great idea.

JUDY: Right! One safe option is to touch someone’s forearm or elbow—it will seem friendly, but not too friendly. In one experiment where waitresses were asked to touch customers’ forearms while handing over a menu, these waitresses received much higher tips than those who didn’t touch the forearm. This suggests that touch magically warms people up to your presence.



ME: Finally... I noticed a study mentioned in your book about how it's not just men who look at boobs. As it turns out, ladies will often sneak a glance at men’s private parts! Really?

JUDY: You bet! Women are just better at hiding the fact that they check out the goods on a guy. This is due to their higher powers of peripheral vision. Typically, women’s peripheral vision extends 45 degrees to the sides, above, and below where they’re looking. Men’s peripheral vision, on the other hand, is much narrower in scope. Men can spot things far in front of them—which was probably great for hunting in ancient times, but not so great when you’re trying to sneak a peak at something hovering along the outskirts. In one experiment, research team Alan and Barbara Pease took men and women to a nudist camp and filmed their eye movements. Men were clearly staring agog at women’s boobs, butts, and privates, even though they swore they were trying to hide it. Women, however, claimed they were constantly sneaking peaks at men’s packages, but never once looked like they were.



I guess the moral of the story for women is this: If a man’s talking to your boobs, give him a break, since you’re probably checking out the goods on him, too.

-----------------------

DEAR COMMENTERS: Thanks for all your advice this week! And XenZen, Ray, Edwinna, Wondergirl, Maddy, Agustina, Angela, Alexandra: thanks for giving me a little talking-to yesterday. Yes, sometimes I need a kick in my well-toned butt. (Ha!)



And I think it's worth repeating the advice Wondergirl gave me: "You must believe with every fiber of your being that you are going to find the right person for you." Amen to that, sister.



Oh, and Alexandra: one thing: I really don't think this guy is quite the person for me. (He also didn't ask ME on a second date.) So, I think it's okay to let things more or less slide at this point (though we'll remain friendly).



Also, Edwinna, I DID look into the Meet Up thing. There's some bluegrass thing that looks pretty cool ... I'll have to get on that.

5 Pointers on Flirting While Using Public Transportation

Hmm. I'm slightly depressed today, partly because the antidepressants I started taking in December are killing my metabolism, and I've gained a little weight despite the fact that I'm eating substantially less. (Ironic, no? Anti-D's making me depressed? But overall, they're helping a lot, particularly with my chronic insomnia problem, so I shouldn't complain.) Another thing that has me ever-so-slightly down is that so many of my single girlfriends seem to be hooking up with people! For instance, one of my cronies — who shall remain nameless — who has the world's perkiest boobs (while mine are about as upright as two drunkards after a long night at the bar) — she, my perky-breasted friend, made out with this great guy we know. Another one of my girlfriends just got out of a mini-relationship, and to cheer her up, I arranged a date between her and one of my male buddies; and now THAT seems to be going well. A third chick I know is having a no-strings-attached affair with some dude. And I got nothing. Unless you count Singer, which I don't. No disrespect to him, but there's not enough grist there to even properly call it a fling.



So here I sit, eating low-fat yogurt and clipping my toenails.



I know what you're thinking: Get out there and flirt, ya dope! And you're right.



Although last night, I sort of met a stranger. I had my session with Dr. H. (Which was pretty boring. We talked a little about my financial worries — I haven't made very much money this year — and about my usual not-good-enough self-esteem issues. Also a little bit about Singer and how, crazy as it probably sounds, I've learned a few good communication lessons from him.) Anyway, after the couch-time, I went to the gym, to Whole Foods, and then hopped on the subway to get home, thinking Must flirt, must flirt, must flirt! Must get fodder for blog!



And sitting across from me was an attractive-enough guy, who looked like he was of Southeast Asian descent, reading a novel I've heard a lot of good things about: Roberto Bolaño's 2666. A perfect opening, I told myself. Just ask him how it is. But he was too far away ... and he seemed so engrossed in his book ... and station after station passed ... and I couldn't open my mouth ...



At Times Square, a mob of Midwesterners streamed onto our subway car, and I took advantage of the diversion to slip across the aisle, and plant myself diagonal to Bolaño. He didn't notice me ... but I noticed the ring on his finger. Married. The stakes were gone. Which is why I was then completely capable of saying, "Hey, do you like the book?" without breaking a sweat.



I know, I know: That totally didn't count. But at least it was a little warm-up, right? (By the way, he's totally digging the book, which is something of a postmodern detective story.)



Here are some of my thoughts about the best ways to flirt while availing of the public transportation system in your fine city, town, or hamlet:

-Choose your seat wisely. It's a lot more natural to get close, conversationally, if you're not three rows back. But don't feel too self-conscious about making a strategic seat-change either. Chances are, the guy is never going to notice — and if he does, he might just be checking you out, too.

-If a guy's reading something, ask him about it. But don't just say, like I did, "Do you like that book?" Because then you're at risk of getting a one-word answer. Ask something more open-ended, like: "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you seem to be enjoying that book. May I ask what it's about?" If the dude's got a newspaper or magazine, you might want to ask if there are any must-read articles in it.

-Remember that the two of you have at least one thing in common: You're traveling along the same route. So you could ask a question about how many stops the train will make before yours, how long it might take to get there, or which station is closest to your final destination.

-Keep this thought in your head all the time: I'm never going to see this person again if I don't talk to him now ... so what do I have to lose?

If you guys have any thoughts about how best to engage sexy strangers on planes, trains, or subway platforms, please let me know!

Later. xxx.

How to Be Happy--Even If You're Single (Tips from *The Happiness Project*)

If you’re like me—and just about every last one of my single female friends—you often think that you’d be happier if only you were in a relationship. But does being in a relationship really make you happier? And how can you make yourself happier, with or without a mate? I talked to Gretchen Rubin, the author of the popular blog The Happiness Project about all this. She had some great pointers for how single people can get more out of life—and maybe just find their way to a relationship in the process.

ME: Gretchen, much as I wish this weren’t the case, every unattached woman that I know—from my 24-year-old hairdresser to my 38-year-old former editor to my 30-year-old best lesbian buddy—wants to be with someone! Any advice on how to feel okay about being single?

GRETCHEN: Remember how much freedom you have, as a single person. You don’t have to coordinate your schedule with anyone else’s. You have all the time you want to go to the gym, see old friends, make new ones, take classes, meet new people—whatever you feel like doing. Don’t focus on what you think you’re missing. Focus on all you can do. And stop comparing yourself to other people who seem better off than you are—like everyone else who’s in a relationship. The more you do that, the less happy you’ll feel. Think, instead, about people who are worse off than you are: like everyone who’s homeless, or who’s lost their homes as a result of the mortgage crisis, or people who are struggling through a painful divorce.

ME: Are people who are in relationships actually happier than those of us who aren’t?

GRETCHEN: There is happiness that comes from being in a relationship—from giving and getting companionship and support. But if you’re not romantically involved with someone, there are other ways to find those benefits—through strong relationships with friends, for instance.

ME: Okay. I’m lucky enough to have some great friends, and to be pretty good at making new ones. But do you have any advice for people who have trouble doing that?

GRETCHEN: Join or start a group related to something you’re interested in—a book club, a knitting circle, a wine-tasting group. Lead a Girl Scout troop. Start taking a regular exercise class or going on hikes with a local organization. Go to the dog run. (Doing exercise and getting out in nature are great ways to add some happiness to your day, by the way.) And make an effort to get to know the friends of your friends! They'll be a great foundation for you in particular if you’re moving to a new city.

Another thing: I’m not the most out-going person, but I’ve made a rule for myself that I need to make three new friends in every situation . I’m always on the look-out for them, which helps keep me more open and engaging. So, if you start a new job, say, or move to a new neighborhood, look out for your new buddies.

ME: Yes, you know, I’ve been finding that just saying to myself, I should be on the look-out for someone to flirt with makes me feel more willing to talk to people, and more excited about it, too.

GRETCHEN: That's great. If you need a booster, keep in mind that studies have shown both extroverts and introverts are made happier by engaging with other people. (It’s just dependent on the situation: Introverts aren’t going to feel comfortable at a big party where they don’t know many people, for example, but will feel better in a one-on-one interaction.) In other words: Everybody likes to have a nice interaction with another person.

ME: Do you have any other tips about small ways you can make yourself happier?

GRETCHEN: My blog is full of tips about how to do that.

ME: Okay, cool. My blog is about capitalizing on all the opportunities there are in life to flirt with people--but to be able to do that best, I'm learning, I have to feel happy and confident! Any tips on how to improve self-esteem?

GRETCHEN: By doing things that you consider worthwhile or admirable. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Or, if you don’t have time, sign up to be an organ donor. It takes you 10 seconds to register and you could potentially save seven lives! Do things that you would respect in other people and you will gain self-respect. For instance, if you wish people would help you network to get a job, then help other people network. If you wish people would set you up, then set other people up.

ME: So funny—I’ve been doing a lot of that lately! (In fact, I just introduced my adorable hair dresser to someone!) And people really appreciate it. And I feel good about it, too.

GRETCHEN: See?

There are also self-contained things you can do to feel better about yourself. Like:
-Get up every morning a little early to go for a run—and stick to your new exercise routine.
-Quit smoking.
-Pay down your credit card.

Do things that you can respect—and you’ll have more respect for yourself. It’s that simple.

The Rise of Anal Sex

I may shock you today as I delve into a topic that is, to be honest, slightly out of my comfort zone: anal sex between men and women.

But I was reading Slate yesterday — they have a great column called "Human Nature" that I like — and I came across a piece that reported on a new national sex survey that was recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The precis: We're all having more sex, and more kinds of sex than ever before, and we're getting sexually active at younger ages. But the "big story," as Slate writer William Saletan puts it, is anal sex! In 1992, a similar survey found that 16 percent of women aged 18-24 had tried it. Now the number is more like 40 percent. And in 1992, the highest percentage of women in any age group who admitted to anal sex was 33 percent. Now it's 46.

Saletan goes on to say: "The last time I looked at the anal sex data, I figured that most women who reported having done it meant they'd tried it just once. I was wrong. … One-third of these women say they've done it in the last month. Among all women surveyed, the number who reported anal sex in their most recent sexual encounter was three percent to four percent. That's a lot of butt sex. And remember, this is what women are reporting. If anything, they're probably understating the truth."

So, he wonders, what's the deal? Why are women so into it?

In the hopes of answering that question, he checks out the orgasm data and finds: "Among women who had vaginal sex in their last encounter, the percentage who said they reached orgasm was 65. Among those who received oral sex, it was 81. But among those who had anal sex, it was 94. Anal sex outscored cunnilingus." [You can read the data for yourself if you don't believe it: Table 5, Pages 357-8.]

"What could explain this?" Saletan asks. "Taboo thrill? Clitoral migration? Some new kind of vegetable oil?"

Giving the data another go, he finds that 86 percent of women who had anal also had vaginal sex, 72 percent also received oral sex, and 31 percent also had partnered masturbation. As he puts it, "The more sex acts a woman engaged in during the encounter, the more likely she was to report orgasm. These other activities are what gave the women their orgasms. The anal sex just came along for the ride. ... Women who were getting what they wanted were more likely to indulge their partners' wishes. It wasn't the anal sex that caused the orgasms. It was the orgasms that caused the anal sex."

If anyone has thoughts about Saletan's conclusion — if anyone wants to argue that anal, in itself, is a sure-fire way for a woman to orgasm, or is immensely more pleasurable than other bedroom activities — please give us the low-down.

I myself have never tried that method, and I have ZERO interest in it. I can't see how it would be anything but very painful, and I'd prefer not to find out just how painful it might be. However, I may be slightly prudish. As I've said a bunch of times now, I don't even like giving blow jobs.

Perhaps it's worth adding that contrary to popular belief, anal sex is not the wildest sexual fantasy of every single man in the world. Plenty of the guys I've dated, who seem to have healthy libidos and to be liberal thinkers about sexuality, were not into it.

Ladies, if any of you want to tell me what I'm missing, or correct me or back me up on any point here, please do!

Do Women Only Like Powerful Men Because of Evolution?

1. Women look for men who are "socially dominant."
Today's women "may be shooting up the career ladder and earning more than the men in their lives, but when it comes to relationships, men still hold the trump card," Neave claims. "I study patterns of behavior dating back to the first human societies and constantly analyze evidence that demonstrates the key differences which have developed between the sexes since men were hunter-gatherers and women were child bearers. Females are smaller and weaker than males, so, in prehistoric times, women and their offspring were prone to being the victims of predators and violence. They needed the support and protection of men who didn't just have brute force but also had social status in the group, either through their sheer physicality or the strength of their personality. That's why women still look for a mate of higher social standing. If a woman had a relationship with a socially dominant male, she would immediately get greater access to resources because her social standing would be elevated, too. As we shall see, modern surveys consistently show that women today ape [no pun intended?] those inherent characteristics by looking for partners who are socially dominant and have the respect of their peers, paying close attention to how men interact with, and are treated by, other men."

2. Men look for women who are young.
"Men have a different reason for choosing a mate," Neave continues. "The caveman needed to be sure he was raising a child who was genetically his. The best way of doing this was to secure a mate and guard her so she didn't get the chance to stray. A man's natural instinct may be to have sex with a different woman every day, but to safeguard his relationship (and secure his progeny), he has been forced into a pattern of monogamy. When couples meet at speed-dating events, typically a man will judge a woman on her looks and youth. His priorities are whether she's healthy, interested in sex, and can give him children one day. He doesn't care how much she earns or her social status. Typically, however, a woman's first question will be: 'What job do you do?' It sounds a friendly overture, but what she really wants to know is his social position and earning capacity. Is he an industrious, hard worker, capable of providing for her and their children? Because of his power, even the ugliest politician on the planet has women lining up to go to bed with him... As American statesman Henry Kissinger put it: 'Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.'"

3. Women will pick the powerful over the sexy.
Neave goes on to quote a study in which the researchers (from Syracuse University and University of Toledo) presented women with photographs of men. The first group, described as doctors, wore designer ties, smart shirts, and sported Rolex watches. The second wore plain shirts and Swatch watches and were described as teachers. The third group wore Burger King uniforms. Women repeatedly picked doctors as potential boyfriends — even though many of the men in the third category were actually more handsome.

Says Neave: "Quite simply, to women, a man's looks are less important than earning power and social standing."

Why evolutionary psychology bugs me.
I'm skeptical. I have mixed feelings about evolutionary psychology. On the one hand, it can help to explain some interesting stuff. On the other hand, it can be tiresomely reductive — and certain evolutionary psychologists can strike me as just as caveman-like as the cavemen they seem so interested in.

I mean, speaking for myself, as much as I'll take a multimillionare, sure, what I like even more are baby firemen. In other words, power doesn't turn me on one bit — unless it's coupled with youthful good looks! I am not at all hot for men who look "distinguished," i.e., "older." And I have to say, if anything is biologically programmed into me — or instinctual — I think it's my predilection for young men. Because hell knows I am aware that they are no good for me.

Another thing: Neave kind of glides from his point about prehistoric women liking men who were physically strong and had brute strength to the bit about how men with higher social standing also helped our progenitors survive — which, according to him, makes the case that women still like socially dominant men. But ... well ... what about physically strong men? Sure, the men who will most help us survive in today's world don't need brute strength — a great job is a better signal that they will be a good mate. But, if our prehistoric brains were really controlling us so much, wouldn't we still look for the brute strength? Wouldn't we still find that most attractive? But according to the evolutionary psychologists, we women don't care about a hot physique in our men, because if we did we'd all be salivating over the youngsters and the gym addicts. Instead, we are much more likely to choose powerful politicians, sexy old-man writers, and Woody Allens over some dumb hottie on the elliptical.

If you ask me, a woman is responding to a certain amount of personal greed — and societal pressure — more than any biological instinct when she picks a not-so-hot but rich old man over some sexy younger guy. Because she knows that men — for reasons that probably have something to do with biology but also certainly have a lot to do with cultural standards and societal pressures — prefer young women. So she figures she may as well get while the getting is good, and have a big stash of cash — and plenty of plastic surgery, courtesy of his credit card — by the time her old man dies.

Sure, this is a pretty extreme example ... but caveman are pretty extreme, too!

What do you guys think?

I think I need more coffee.